4 ms·

I am going to go out on a limb and guess - are you in your early to mid twenties? Just guessing based on some of your examples. I'm not at all trying to dismiss

by cactus2093 6y ago

I am going to go out on a limb and guess - are you in your early to mid twenties? Just guessing based on some of your examples. I'm not at all trying to dismiss the perspective of young people, but I think these behaviors are very strongly correlated with age and/or life stage. I'm a bit older than that in my thirties, and I haven't really observed this effect yet among my peer group. A lot of people are leaving temporarily, one person moved to Marin (but that's where their family is and I think they may have done that anyway), another friend was already planning a cross-country move and just did it a little earlier due to covid. On the other hand, looking at a lot of my younger friends and coworkers over the past few years, it feels like maybe a third to half of them always ended up leaving the city after a few years, and this was before covid. I saw someone tweet this about NY, and it's my best guess about the present situation too - that it's likely most of the people leaving permanently due to the pandemic were going to leave the city in the next 3-5 years anyway. People have been moving to New York and then leaving after a few years for decades if not centuries (and writing nostalgic essays about doing so so often it has become a whole genre). And now that SF is such a hub for tech opportunities, in the same way that NY has always been for many different industries, I think this is just as true here as well.

abakker 6y ago
In my early 30s here. All my friends have left, and now we are doing so, too. You are right, IMO. Most of those friends are in tech and plan to move back eventually, but are hoping to score better deals on rent then. For now they live in the mountains and can do some fun solo activities for the next year. For us, we have wanted to leave for several years, but the ability to WFH for my wife actually makes it possible now. More space, owning vs renting, and more local friends elsewhere all are big drivers.
- dajohnson89 6y ago
  How are you able to make more local friends in a less dense location?
  - abakker 6y ago
    It turns out that most of my friends from SF have all left for the same general area, so it became a pretty easy decision for us. Additionally, We are moving to a place where many of our college friends also live, so we are hoping that some of those friendships also rekindle.
  - ardy42 6y ago
    > How are you able to make more local friends in a less dense location? Not the GP, but the social changes that happen with population density may make starting friendships more difficult (e.g. people adapting by being more standoffish than welcoming due to the sheer number of people they have to interact with in a dense environment).

abakker 6y ago

In my early 30s here. All my friends have left, and now we are doing so, too. You are right, IMO. Most of those friends are in tech and plan to move back eventually, but are hoping to score better deals on rent then. For now they live in the mountains and can do some fun solo activities for the next year. For us, we have wanted to leave for several years, but the ability to WFH for my wife actually makes it possible now. More space, owning vs renting, and more local friends elsewhere all are big drivers.

dajohnson89 6y ago
How are you able to make more local friends in a less dense location?
- abakker 6y ago
  It turns out that most of my friends from SF have all left for the same general area, so it became a pretty easy decision for us. Additionally, We are moving to a place where many of our college friends also live, so we are hoping that some of those friendships also rekindle.
- ardy42 6y ago
  > How are you able to make more local friends in a less dense location? Not the GP, but the social changes that happen with population density may make starting friendships more difficult (e.g. people adapting by being more standoffish than welcoming due to the sheer number of people they have to interact with in a dense environment).