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In my almost 2 years as a parent I say no. I love my son and he makes me laugh a bunch and is such a sweet little guy but the minute he was born my life is no l

by jetti 6y ago

In my almost 2 years as a parent I say no. I love my son and he makes me laugh a bunch and is such a sweet little guy but the minute he was born my life is no longer mine, it revolved around him. There are late, sleepless nights and the unpredictability of a toddler means that planning get togethers or any kind of event gets complicated. Another thing, there is no guarantee you will feel a connection with your kid, especially as a male. It took about a month and a half before I felt a connection and it was incredibly hard to get up late at night with a screaming baby that meant nothing to me. There were times I wanted to just open the window and throw him out. From the reading I did, there are men who have not even felt a connection after 5 years. Could you imagine having to take care of a child who you feel nothing for? That doesn't sound like happiness to me. Like others have said, it looks like you are looking more so for a pet than a child. Though, if you would be up for it I am sure there are mentoring programs (such as Big Brothers Big Sisters program) where you could have a meaningful impact on a child's life with the ability to walk away if it isn't for you.

codingdave 6y ago
It gets better once they are past the toddler years. Parents with young children sometimes don't realize that a day will come when they'll be independent enough to just tell you "I'm going to the park, see ya later", and you say "OK!", and when most of your day is your own again. I'd agree that no, they do not make you happier for the first couple years. But then they do make you happy when they are between 4 and 12. Then teenagers are tough again. My own parents tell me it is pretty great when they are adults. Overall, if my kids are I are both in the world for 50-60 shared years together (hopefully), the 40-50 good years totally make the 5-10 tough years worth it.
- jokab 6y ago
  12 yo daughter. Seems like yesterday she was my baby girl. Now shes an emotional roller coaster. There is a good analogy I heard from her schoolmaster about handling kids her age. The swimming pool analogy. People in the swimming pool gets tired and comes to the side rails to catch their breath. When they're ready, they kick the walls to go back to the deeper end of the pool. The walls are us parents and when they kick us is when our kids go back to their friends to hang out and such. When they go to rest on the sides is my kid telling me about her day and all. Its just brief but I couldn't be any happier. The kicking part ranges from "your annoying stop talking to me" to completely ignoring and switching back to discord mode to talk to friends. It hurts quite a bit when they do that we even end up fighting. But after hearing this analogy I now know how to feel and react.
cm2012 6y ago
Not nearly as big a deal but I haven't bonded with my dog. I got her, trained her, she's great, she loves me to pieces, but I don't actually find joy from her or care about her beyond moral obligation. There's not really any other option than just living with her until she does of old age, since she loves me a lot and adopting her out would be cruel.
- jetti 6y ago
  How old is the dog? If she isn't already rather old then I wouldn't worry too much about trying to re-home her. We had to re-home one of our dogs when my son was born because the dog didn't adjust and actually bit my son. We had had the dog since she was about 10 weeks old and she was 4 years old when we re-homed her. We took our time and made sure to find somebody we felt would be a good fit and when we did we had the woman come meet the dog before she took her (the day before the 'adoption' day). I was really worried about how the dog would react because she was attached to my hip but as I watched the video of her leaving with the woman (we weren't home when the woman took the dog, we had a relative there because it was too hard for my wife and I) from my Ring camera the dog was wagging her tail and excited. We have gotten pics and videos since and the dog is super happy and just overall having a good life.

by jetti 6y ago

codingdave 6y ago

It gets better once they are past the toddler years. Parents with young children sometimes don't realize that a day will come when they'll be independent enough to just tell you "I'm going to the park, see ya later", and you say "OK!", and when most of your day is your own again. I'd agree that no, they do not make you happier for the first couple years. But then they do make you happy when they are between 4 and 12. Then teenagers are tough again. My own parents tell me it is pretty great when they are adults. Overall, if my kids are I are both in the world for 50-60 shared years together (hopefully), the 40-50 good years totally make the 5-10 tough years worth it.

jokab 6y ago
12 yo daughter. Seems like yesterday she was my baby girl. Now shes an emotional roller coaster. There is a good analogy I heard from her schoolmaster about handling kids her age. The swimming pool analogy. People in the swimming pool gets tired and comes to the side rails to catch their breath. When they're ready, they kick the walls to go back to the deeper end of the pool. The walls are us parents and when they kick us is when our kids go back to their friends to hang out and such. When they go to rest on the sides is my kid telling me about her day and all. Its just brief but I couldn't be any happier. The kicking part ranges from "your annoying stop talking to me" to completely ignoring and switching back to discord mode to talk to friends. It hurts quite a bit when they do that we even end up fighting. But after hearing this analogy I now know how to feel and react.

cm2012 6y ago

Not nearly as big a deal but I haven't bonded with my dog. I got her, trained her, she's great, she loves me to pieces, but I don't actually find joy from her or care about her beyond moral obligation. There's not really any other option than just living with her until she does of old age, since she loves me a lot and adopting her out would be cruel.

jetti 6y ago
How old is the dog? If she isn't already rather old then I wouldn't worry too much about trying to re-home her. We had to re-home one of our dogs when my son was born because the dog didn't adjust and actually bit my son. We had had the dog since she was about 10 weeks old and she was 4 years old when we re-homed her. We took our time and made sure to find somebody we felt would be a good fit and when we did we had the woman come meet the dog before she took her (the day before the 'adoption' day). I was really worried about how the dog would react because she was attached to my hip but as I watched the video of her leaving with the woman (we weren't home when the woman took the dog, we had a relative there because it was too hard for my wife and I) from my Ring camera the dog was wagging her tail and excited. We have gotten pics and videos since and the dog is super happy and just overall having a good life.