17 ms·

Why would I want to live in a city and compete with the best of the best? I don't want my kids to go to a top school in an urban environment. I want them to d

Why would I want to live in a city and compete with the best of the best? I don't want my kids to go to a top school in an urban environment. I want them to do well in an above-average suburban school and have access to recreational activities outside the city. I want to live an affordable life that allows me to save and build wealth. I want a good work/life balance. I don't see the city providing me any of that. The city is for a special type of person. For people like me, it's just constant stress.

angrais 6y ago
What's stressful about living in the city for you?
- jaggederest 6y ago
  What isn't? Noise, traffic, expense, crowding, lack of green space, no sense of community, it's just an extremely hostile environment for human neurology. https://www.nature.com/articles/nrn3079 https://www.nature.com/articles/nrn3079
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]
- newshorts 6y ago
  Personally some folks are energized by the activity. I find it particularly draining. Little things like needing to time my laundry so my neighbor doesn’t pull mine out and move ahead of me in line cause me to spend my weekends stressing instead of relaxing. I also don’t get a ton out of cultural experiences like art exhibits and high end dining. For me, I recharge by sitting in some dirt next to a campfire with friends I’ve had since grade school. Like I said, everyone is different, but for me the city was all cost and no payoff. If I knew I could work remote indefinitely, I’d find a nice house in a bikeable neighborhood with a good school district and have a lot of bbqs with the neighbors.
welder 6y ago
Even if you lose competing against the best, you're still better off than the ones not in the competition.
- 01100011 6y ago
  Better off in what sense? I think it depends on one's life goals and value system. I've seen people live amazingly fulfilling lives in flyover country while making average incomes, far better than an average income earner stuck in a big city.
  - abellerose 6y ago
    I know living in a city contrary to living in the middle of nowhere really depends on how your kids will be. I would've preferred if I had been living in a city my whole life. Especially as a child to young adulthood. I did everything there is to do while not living in a city. The outdoors with being able to do whatever is nice but the social dynamic of a life in a city is hands down superior than anything imo. Something to consider as it can really be different per individual.
  - welder 6y ago
    The average income earner could take savings and buy out the flyover people. The city benefits can be hard to quantify. Take quality of healthcare, which you can't be sure when you'll need. More often I see city people stay in the city, and instead just travel. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perpetual_traveler https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perpetual_traveler
  - room500 6y ago
    Everyone has their own set of values - I don't judge your decisions at all in this case. However, to give some perspective, I grew up in a rural/suburban "flyover" town. There are parts of my childhood that I would love my own children to have - running outdoors, opportunities to try things without committing to the (sure, I'll sign up for the baseball team and see what happens), etc But what I realize that I missed was the knowledge of how big the world was. I thought going to the local state college was "making it." I didn't understand how the world worked or what was possible. I missed out on opportunities because I didn't realize that I should be looking for them. A great book on the subject is Hillbilly Elegy. It tracks closely with my own experiences (though I can say that I am fortunate to not have some of the challenges that the author faced). Based on my experiences, I have chosen to expose my children to the wide world of opportunities out there. Yes, I am terrified of the stress and anxiety that might accompany that, but I am also confident that it is what would set them up to be successful in this global society
fragmede 6y ago
Who's competing? Stack rank firing went out in the 90's. Part of being the best I can be involves surrounding myself with the smartest people I can find. I don't want to be the smartest person in the room, and I find I learn more working alongside the best of the best, even (especially) if I'm the dumbest person there.
- john4534243 6y ago
  What better way is there other than online to find the smartest person or any group ?
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]

angrais 6y ago

What's stressful about living in the city for you?

jaggederest 6y ago
What isn't? Noise, traffic, expense, crowding, lack of green space, no sense of community, it's just an extremely hostile environment for human neurology. https://www.nature.com/articles/nrn3079 https://www.nature.com/articles/nrn3079
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
newshorts 6y ago
Personally some folks are energized by the activity. I find it particularly draining. Little things like needing to time my laundry so my neighbor doesn’t pull mine out and move ahead of me in line cause me to spend my weekends stressing instead of relaxing. I also don’t get a ton out of cultural experiences like art exhibits and high end dining. For me, I recharge by sitting in some dirt next to a campfire with friends I’ve had since grade school. Like I said, everyone is different, but for me the city was all cost and no payoff. If I knew I could work remote indefinitely, I’d find a nice house in a bikeable neighborhood with a good school district and have a lot of bbqs with the neighbors.

welder 6y ago

Even if you lose competing against the best, you're still better off than the ones not in the competition.

01100011 6y ago
Better off in what sense? I think it depends on one's life goals and value system. I've seen people live amazingly fulfilling lives in flyover country while making average incomes, far better than an average income earner stuck in a big city.
- abellerose 6y ago
  I know living in a city contrary to living in the middle of nowhere really depends on how your kids will be. I would've preferred if I had been living in a city my whole life. Especially as a child to young adulthood. I did everything there is to do while not living in a city. The outdoors with being able to do whatever is nice but the social dynamic of a life in a city is hands down superior than anything imo. Something to consider as it can really be different per individual.
- welder 6y ago
  The average income earner could take savings and buy out the flyover people. The city benefits can be hard to quantify. Take quality of healthcare, which you can't be sure when you'll need. More often I see city people stay in the city, and instead just travel. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perpetual_traveler https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perpetual_traveler
- room500 6y ago
  Everyone has their own set of values - I don't judge your decisions at all in this case. However, to give some perspective, I grew up in a rural/suburban "flyover" town. There are parts of my childhood that I would love my own children to have - running outdoors, opportunities to try things without committing to the (sure, I'll sign up for the baseball team and see what happens), etc But what I realize that I missed was the knowledge of how big the world was. I thought going to the local state college was "making it." I didn't understand how the world worked or what was possible. I missed out on opportunities because I didn't realize that I should be looking for them. A great book on the subject is Hillbilly Elegy. It tracks closely with my own experiences (though I can say that I am fortunate to not have some of the challenges that the author faced). Based on my experiences, I have chosen to expose my children to the wide world of opportunities out there. Yes, I am terrified of the stress and anxiety that might accompany that, but I am also confident that it is what would set them up to be successful in this global society

fragmede 6y ago

Who's competing? Stack rank firing went out in the 90's. Part of being the best I can be involves surrounding myself with the smartest people I can find. I don't want to be the smartest person in the room, and I find I learn more working alongside the best of the best, even (especially) if I'm the dumbest person there.

john4534243 6y ago
What better way is there other than online to find the smartest person or any group ?
deleted 6y ago
[deleted]