> More effective, according to the authors, are to give a choice, even if it is somewhat of a forced one: "I want you to take a bath. Do you want to bathe with

> More effective, according to the authors, are to give a choice, even if it is somewhat of a forced one: "I want you to take a bath. Do you want to bathe with your boat or your duck?" This can be so surprisingly effective that it is almost scary. And while I'm at it: it works with many adults too. Use with caution. Leadership is good and kids needs to go to bed at night, but manipulation isn't what you want to be remembered for. Other nice-to-knows to be used with caution: - as kids start to negotiate, add slack for negotiations. - "catch them" when they do something right, reward it immediately (with encouraging words, a hug, increased trust - or even a piece of chocolate) - look for the intentions - or anything that was right even if the intent wasn't there: -- tried to do something right but failed? Good! (On the other side: there's few things as discouraging as gettig a scolding when you thought you did something good.) -- used to slam the door but closed it carefully for some reason (hands full, in the phone, etc)? Good.