I am CEO of UBER, i have been azzramming gig workers for years, now i hacked the system, don’t pay payroll tax or provide healthcare, and now i cannot afford it

I am CEO of UBER, i have been azzramming gig workers for years, now i hacked the system, don’t pay payroll tax or provide healthcare, and now i cannot afford it either because shareholders do not want to pay for it, so i need to create noise and find a bailout, and i think tax payers should do it since clearly we as a company are not willing/able. Cherio suckers