4 ms·

> But most of it is genetic lottery, not hard work. The luck part isn't primarily about genetics [1], it's about whether you enjoy (or at least don't hate) the

> But most of it is genetic lottery, not hard work. The luck part isn't primarily about genetics [1], it's about whether you enjoy (or at least don't hate) the routines necessary to be attractive. For instance: my wife sticks to a strict diet because she doesn't like having to make decisions about food. If you're lucky enough to be wired like her (I'm writing this next to an empty pizza box...), you can hit any goal weight and stay there. Our bathroom is covered in lotions and creams that she spends an hour applying before bed every night. I could not tell you their names, to say nothing of their purposes. She goes to the gym every day except for planned rest days, and does a workout routine that was decided on weeks ahead of time. I maybe go for a jog, if I remember to and I'm feeling up to it. I've tried copying what she does, and I can't even stick to it for a day. But most women I know do some version of this, and all of the really attractive men do, too. [1] sure, it is possible to really lose the genetic lottery, but unless you would've been a 19th century circus freak, the bottleneck is probably how hard you're trying, not your genetics

misanthropian00 6y ago
There are no routines necessary to be attractive. It is something you are either born with or not born with and it is pretty obvious at a very young age.
- jdm2212 6y ago
  That gets the causality backwards. Your personality is set pretty early in life and determines characteristics like how self-aware you are, how vain you are, whether you care about how you come across to others, and more. Those qualities determine how much effort you put into being attractive.
  - misanthropian00 6y ago
    If you need to put in effort then you you are not attractive in the first place. Attractive people are beautiful when they wake up in the morning. I Know this from experience. I am referring to facial beauty though. Maybe you are thinking of TnA.
viklove 6y ago
So are you saying you're not attractive? You don't put the effort in, but she does -- so she's attractive and you're not?
mitchdoogle 6y ago
You can be highly attractive and not very fit. And you definitely don't need to have a skin care routine to be considered attractive. I'd also argue that there is a feedback loop, i.e. attractive people are told they're attractive starting at a young age, and so a large part of their self-esteem comes from being attractive, so they feel more pressure to do the things you mention, i.e. skin care, working out.
- jdm2212 6y ago
  Definitely agree that there's a feedback loop and strong long-term effect of initial level of natural attractiveness when you're young. One of the advantages of not starting out on the "is attractive -> gets self-esteem from attractiveness -> tries to be more attractive" cycle is that as you get older you don't feel like you're losing anything. It's no fun when you're young, but that's a small minority of most people's lives.

misanthropian00 6y ago

There are no routines necessary to be attractive. It is something you are either born with or not born with and it is pretty obvious at a very young age.

jdm2212 6y ago
That gets the causality backwards. Your personality is set pretty early in life and determines characteristics like how self-aware you are, how vain you are, whether you care about how you come across to others, and more. Those qualities determine how much effort you put into being attractive.
- misanthropian00 6y ago
  If you need to put in effort then you you are not attractive in the first place. Attractive people are beautiful when they wake up in the morning. I Know this from experience. I am referring to facial beauty though. Maybe you are thinking of TnA.

viklove 6y ago

So are you saying you're not attractive? You don't put the effort in, but she does -- so she's attractive and you're not?

mitchdoogle 6y ago

You can be highly attractive and not very fit. And you definitely don't need to have a skin care routine to be considered attractive. I'd also argue that there is a feedback loop, i.e. attractive people are told they're attractive starting at a young age, and so a large part of their self-esteem comes from being attractive, so they feel more pressure to do the things you mention, i.e. skin care, working out.

jdm2212 6y ago
Definitely agree that there's a feedback loop and strong long-term effect of initial level of natural attractiveness when you're young. One of the advantages of not starting out on the "is attractive -> gets self-esteem from attractiveness -> tries to be more attractive" cycle is that as you get older you don't feel like you're losing anything. It's no fun when you're young, but that's a small minority of most people's lives.