3 ms·

I'm not so sure.. I'm an introvert and a loner, so I often feel a bias against these kind of assertions. I want to be able to continue being a loner, feel good

by jasonv 6y ago

I'm not so sure.. I'm an introvert and a loner, so I often feel a bias against these kind of assertions. I want to be able to continue being a loner, feel good about it, exhibit resilience and self-reliance in a way that leaves me satisfied with my days, and invested in my intentions. I don't have a lot of friends, but I have a few. I'm divorced, but I have a great kid and am still actively intertwined, familial-y speaking, with my ex-. I wouldn't be able to say how all this affects my EOL quality and vitality, but I'm almost 50 and I don't feel diminished or negatively impacted by my life decisions or lifestyle yet. I'm not "lonely" but I work to make sure I'm "alone" a good amount. I feel the urge to get social about once every 3 months and I can usually make it happen. I have a few places in the world where I travel, have friends, and can be super-social for a few weeks at a time. If not determined by a lower bound, I wonder if they meant it qualitatively as we all quantitatively.

TimesOldRoman 6y ago
You sound like you have enough close relationships to sustain you.
- throw48e7 6y ago
  I dont want to speak for OP, but I am at similar situation. I maintain close relationship with family to help people, not to "recharge". Close relationship are energy suckers. For relaxation there are casual friends and flinks. But I would not call that close relationships.
apatters 6y ago
When these studies talk about the value of "close" relationships, they tend to point to properties like respect, trust, and emotional intimacy. Basically the relationship characteristics that someone with a secure attachment style tends to develop. (Which raises an interesting question, are they really finding that attachment style is the biggest contributor to happiness?) It's not necessarily a function of how much time you spend with the counterparties, or exactly how many relationships you have. If you have strong, healthy relationships with your kid, ex, and a friend or two you're probably already in the "good" column.

by jasonv 6y ago

TimesOldRoman 6y ago

You sound like you have enough close relationships to sustain you.

throw48e7 6y ago
I dont want to speak for OP, but I am at similar situation. I maintain close relationship with family to help people, not to "recharge". Close relationship are energy suckers. For relaxation there are casual friends and flinks. But I would not call that close relationships.

apatters 6y ago

When these studies talk about the value of "close" relationships, they tend to point to properties like respect, trust, and emotional intimacy. Basically the relationship characteristics that someone with a secure attachment style tends to develop. (Which raises an interesting question, are they really finding that attachment style is the biggest contributor to happiness?) It's not necessarily a function of how much time you spend with the counterparties, or exactly how many relationships you have. If you have strong, healthy relationships with your kid, ex, and a friend or two you're probably already in the "good" column.