I think the important part is transparency. My kids know that we can check up on them at any time, we don't hide it. While we don't actively monitor what they d

I think the important part is transparency. My kids know that we can check up on them at any time, we don't hide it. While we don't actively monitor what they do during their free time, there is a mutual understanding that during the school/homework time their focus needs to be on studying and not idle browsing, playing games, or chatting with friends. I agree with you that you don't want to create a relationship where your kids think you don't trust them. But kids also need to understand that trust is something you earn by being honest and responsible. I rarely check up on my one of my kids with whom I have a high degree of trust. I am also more worried about what they start doing on the Internet (or what the Internet will start doing to them) once they hit their teen years like being exposed to cyberbullying or child predators. As a parent, I need to be able to shield them from that as much as possible or, at minimum, know when it happens. And I think just like a lot of parents I may struggle with finding the right balance between their privacy and their safety and well-being.