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I'm not meaning this as an attack, you are obviously free to parent how you feel best and that may include constant monitoring of internet activity. But, out o

I'm not meaning this as an attack, you are obviously free to parent how you feel best and that may include constant monitoring of internet activity. But, out of genuine curiosity, how did you go about weighing the psychological effects of your children being under constant surveillance with the want/need to monitor their time spent on a computer? Will you adjust your monitoring as your children age, or leave it in place regardless of age while they live under your roof? I haven't had to face this decision yet, and I'm not sure how I will approach it down the line as my kid grows. I understand it is a difficult one. But one thing I am hesitant about is the complete normalization of constant surveillance, and the other is that my kid will (perhaps only subconsciously) believe that I do not trust them. My kid should know they have a right to privacy in this world, and they should know that I trust them. But, I also don't want them exposed to the many negatives of the internet. It's a hard -- if not impossible -- balance to strike, and I am always interested in how parents with older kids weighed the pros and cons of their decision.

dnatochy 6y ago
I think the important part is transparency. My kids know that we can check up on them at any time, we don't hide it. While we don't actively monitor what they do during their free time, there is a mutual understanding that during the school/homework time their focus needs to be on studying and not idle browsing, playing games, or chatting with friends. I agree with you that you don't want to create a relationship where your kids think you don't trust them. But kids also need to understand that trust is something you earn by being honest and responsible. I rarely check up on my one of my kids with whom I have a high degree of trust. I am also more worried about what they start doing on the Internet (or what the Internet will start doing to them) once they hit their teen years like being exposed to cyberbullying or child predators. As a parent, I need to be able to shield them from that as much as possible or, at minimum, know when it happens. And I think just like a lot of parents I may struggle with finding the right balance between their privacy and their safety and well-being.

dnatochy 6y ago

I think the important part is transparency. My kids know that we can check up on them at any time, we don't hide it. While we don't actively monitor what they do during their free time, there is a mutual understanding that during the school/homework time their focus needs to be on studying and not idle browsing, playing games, or chatting with friends. I agree with you that you don't want to create a relationship where your kids think you don't trust them. But kids also need to understand that trust is something you earn by being honest and responsible. I rarely check up on my one of my kids with whom I have a high degree of trust. I am also more worried about what they start doing on the Internet (or what the Internet will start doing to them) once they hit their teen years like being exposed to cyberbullying or child predators. As a parent, I need to be able to shield them from that as much as possible or, at minimum, know when it happens. And I think just like a lot of parents I may struggle with finding the right balance between their privacy and their safety and well-being.