5 ms·

False dichotomy. Taking steps to heal yourself from damage, such as a physical burn or a psychological wound, doesn't necessarily mean not taking the threat se

False dichotomy. Taking steps to heal yourself from damage, such as a physical burn or a psychological wound, doesn't necessarily mean not taking the threat seriously in future. Pain is a signal that teaches us a lesson. Once the lesson is learned, holding onto the pain can just be needless suffering.

trabant00 6y ago
You would be right if people would be rational, which they are not. They are emotional. If you forgive the abusive partner, the loan shark, the casino, etc, you return to them no matter what lessons you learned rationally. And this happens in real life a lot, it isn't just a theory.
- GavinMcG 6y ago
  > If you forgive the abusive partner, the loan shark, the casino, etc, you return to them No? Forgiveness is the letting go of the past. It doesn't mean going back to or repeating the situation. When you heal your broken leg, you don't necessarily go back to skydiving.
  - trabant00 6y ago
    Does what I said and you quoted happen or not? Because we can argue theory all you want, but reality is what actually happens.
    - GavinMcG 6y ago
      But does what I'm saying also happen? Because if so, you're conflating forgiving with forgetting. This is advocating forgiveness, not forgetfulness.
      - yarrel 6y ago
        But if you forgive them why would you not have further dealings with them? After all, they haven't done anything harmful in your revised opinion.
        GavinMcG 6y ago
        Forgiveness isn't endorsement of the behavior. And it also doesn't depend on their changing. Maybe they won't change. Forgiveness is when you change, such that you are no longer unduly influenced in your present life by the pain they caused in the past. So you might not have further dealings with them because emotionally releasing the power their actions have over you doesn't mean you're going to grant them power over you again. You can forgive and still distrust; you can forgive and set/enforce boundaries; you can forgive and still change how you pick the people you open up to or allow to influence your life. There's lots of ways to both forgive and move forward, rather than backward.

trabant00 6y ago

You would be right if people would be rational, which they are not. They are emotional. If you forgive the abusive partner, the loan shark, the casino, etc, you return to them no matter what lessons you learned rationally. And this happens in real life a lot, it isn't just a theory.

GavinMcG 6y ago
> If you forgive the abusive partner, the loan shark, the casino, etc, you return to them No? Forgiveness is the letting go of the past. It doesn't mean going back to or repeating the situation. When you heal your broken leg, you don't necessarily go back to skydiving.
- trabant00 6y ago
  Does what I said and you quoted happen or not? Because we can argue theory all you want, but reality is what actually happens.
  - GavinMcG 6y ago
    But does what I'm saying also happen? Because if so, you're conflating forgiving with forgetting. This is advocating forgiveness, not forgetfulness.
    - yarrel 6y ago
      But if you forgive them why would you not have further dealings with them? After all, they haven't done anything harmful in your revised opinion.
      - GavinMcG 6y ago
        Forgiveness isn't endorsement of the behavior. And it also doesn't depend on their changing. Maybe they won't change. Forgiveness is when you change, such that you are no longer unduly influenced in your present life by the pain they caused in the past. So you might not have further dealings with them because emotionally releasing the power their actions have over you doesn't mean you're going to grant them power over you again. You can forgive and still distrust; you can forgive and set/enforce boundaries; you can forgive and still change how you pick the people you open up to or allow to influence your life. There's lots of ways to both forgive and move forward, rather than backward.