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From a purely personal perspective I have genuinely been less stressed recently and like the current situation. Obviously I know this pandemic is an awful event

From a purely personal perspective I have genuinely been less stressed recently and like the current situation. Obviously I know this pandemic is an awful event for many people and you were (I think?) being sarcastic. But I would be surprised if there wasn't at least some portion of mothers feeling similarly. Is it enough to account for the changes we're seeing? I suspect it's more than one factor.

spenczar5 6y ago
Believe me, I get it. I kind of have preferred this myself. But for pregnancy, which is already a terrifying ordeal, consider: - Can't go to the hospital for ultrasound or other routine procedures; the hospital is too dangerous. Gotta fly pretty much blind. - Haven't met any other first-time parents, haven't been able to do PEP classes. We feel pretty alone. - Going to need to take parental leave... indefinitely? Early childcare doesn't look like an option. But can we risk our jobs by taking a lot of leave? Maybe we have to. - We can't see her parents since they work in the healthcare industry. She has a great relationship with her mom, so this is really tough while pregnant. - Nobody really knows how bad CoVID is for a newborn, or what its effect on gestation is. It's easy to get sucked into spirals of terror about this. While we'd (probably) be fine if we caught it, the effects on the baby, even from asymptomatic infection, are unknown, and there are hints of brain damage which are _really_ scary. So, it's pretty damn stressful, at least for us.
- pizza_boy 6y ago
  I hope this comes across as helpful and not one-upmanship: it is natural to think that having a child is like many of the other things you're used to in life where you can control the outcome. That can lead to you worrying about and optimising for lots of things that won't matter too much in the grand scheme of things. I can tell you from first hand experience that you are not in control. You will know you are in a truly stressful situation when you've forgetten about all of the items you've listed above because you're standing there watching, not sure what is going on, just hoping that everything is going to be ok. I hope you never get to that point and in the meantime try enjoy the ride. I wish you and your family all the best!

spenczar5 6y ago

Believe me, I get it. I kind of have preferred this myself. But for pregnancy, which is already a terrifying ordeal, consider: - Can't go to the hospital for ultrasound or other routine procedures; the hospital is too dangerous. Gotta fly pretty much blind. - Haven't met any other first-time parents, haven't been able to do PEP classes. We feel pretty alone. - Going to need to take parental leave... indefinitely? Early childcare doesn't look like an option. But can we risk our jobs by taking a lot of leave? Maybe we have to. - We can't see her parents since they work in the healthcare industry. She has a great relationship with her mom, so this is really tough while pregnant. - Nobody really knows how bad CoVID is for a newborn, or what its effect on gestation is. It's easy to get sucked into spirals of terror about this. While we'd (probably) be fine if we caught it, the effects on the baby, even from asymptomatic infection, are unknown, and there are hints of brain damage which are _really_ scary. So, it's pretty damn stressful, at least for us.

pizza_boy 6y ago
I hope this comes across as helpful and not one-upmanship: it is natural to think that having a child is like many of the other things you're used to in life where you can control the outcome. That can lead to you worrying about and optimising for lots of things that won't matter too much in the grand scheme of things. I can tell you from first hand experience that you are not in control. You will know you are in a truly stressful situation when you've forgetten about all of the items you've listed above because you're standing there watching, not sure what is going on, just hoping that everything is going to be ok. I hope you never get to that point and in the meantime try enjoy the ride. I wish you and your family all the best!