5 ms·

One of Canada's most prolific romance scammers

40 points by axiomdata316 6y ago

drcross 6y ago
I have a sort of saccharine bemusement that this story is worthy of an article considering that men are plundered for the fruits of their hard work every day by the fairer sex and it's just treated as business as usual. But perhaps i'm just saying that because I'm older than most of you to have not been schooled in the latest indoctrination mythologies and I'm also slightly jaded. Reference: California Divorce Law
- dang 6y ago
  Please don't take HN threads further into gender war. Nothing good can come of it. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
awinter-py 6y ago
> romance fraud cost Canadians $26.7 million in 2018 actual dates cost canadians more than than every week (assuming $100 per date and 40k dates per day) let's not lose sight of the real problem
- praptak 6y ago
  Curiously, there is a solution that works on both problems! It is being extremely cheap.
- blahbhthrow3748 6y ago
  It took a second but I'm assuming this is some MRA bullshit? If you don't wanna pay for a date be up front about it and split the cost.
  - earthscienceman 6y ago
    it's always hilarious to me that feminism is always the clear solution to these petty MRA talking points. feminism wants to split the check, if MRA types embraced feminism a lot of the things that hurt them would evaporate.
- fjdjsmsm 6y ago
  What is the real problem?
  - fxtentacle 6y ago
    I presume Op meant that romance fraud only works because people are used to romance being expensive.
DoreenMichele 6y ago
This goes places that probably aren't going to be much appreciated on HN. This is a hard problem to solve and it's complicated.
- voldacar 6y ago
  valuable and insightful comment
mandeepj 6y ago
You know what's interesting here? - The steps/trap or the playbook that these scammers have mastered
brohee 6y ago
Vautour meaning vulture in French, nice aptonym.
apozem 6y ago
> “What people don’t understand is how the victims in these scams are manipulated and groomed. For the criminals, this is their job and they are extremely good at it,” says Roy Beauchamp. In most cases a fraudster will start with “love bombing,” either online or in person. The technique—flooding a person with affection and attention to fast-track intimacy and build dependence—is also used in cult recruitment strategies. Mirroring—reflecting a person’s experiences, likes and dislikes—is another effective tool for creating the illusion of having found one’s “other half.” It is easy to scoff at other people’s mistakes, but ultimately, we’re all a mess of biological impulses that want to be loved. I like to think of myself as reasonably smart, but against someone like the guy described in this article? Who’s had tons of practice conning others? It would probably be like like going in the ring with a pro MMA fighter. > A Federal Trade Commission survey from 2013 found that participants who had experienced trauma—a death, a divorce, a stressful career incident—in the previous 24 months were more than two-and-a-half times as likely to have experienced fraud than those who had not. Astonishingly cruel.
- sjg007 6y ago
  I think the strategy is to avoid someone who doesn’t have a job locally that’s verifiable and not give them money.
  - finaliteration 6y ago
    The challenge is that even having a strategy fails when you’re in a vulnerable place and someone comes along and says and does all of the “right” things. Many people are deeply lonely and will do and believe anything someone says if that someone is offering love and affection.
    - deleted 6y ago
      [deleted]
- econcon 6y ago
  Usually people are not that blind. They pay others for their company when they make these mistakes. Is a guy getting on hook for child support being scammed? Is a guy on hook for alimony being scammed? I guess he also at some point was living under illusion that this relationship will last a lifetime. I think personal matters like this are not worth going after, it's people making decisions based on evidences someone else provides them. Now if they lost the money, it's their own fault.
axaxs 6y ago
This is a really big spectrum, and I wonder what the true cost is. Due to my position, I have a lot of firsthand knowledge from people who have either been unknowingly or knowingly 'scammed'. That is, some guys knew the women just wanted money in the end, but didn't mind because they loved having someone to talk to. Many were married. Some even 'married' women and brought them to the USA, under a relationship more akin to a caretaker than a wife. I guess both sides benefit in some way, but in reality, it's still a scam, if not to anyone but the US Government. And some truly just want money and disappear, which is what the article references. This happened to my aunt, and she wrote off her family for trying to stop her. Really sad. I consider all three scams of some sort, and the real money involved would balloon.

40 points by axiomdata316 6y ago

I have a sort of saccharine bemusement that this story is worthy of an article considering that men are plundered for the fruits of their hard work every day by the fairer sex and it's just treated as business as usual. But perhaps i'm just saying that because I'm older than most of you to have not been schooled in the latest indoctrination mythologies and I'm also slightly jaded. Reference: California Divorce Law

dang 6y ago
Please don't take HN threads further into gender war. Nothing good can come of it. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]

awinter-py 6y ago

> romance fraud cost Canadians $26.7 million in 2018 actual dates cost canadians more than than every week (assuming $100 per date and 40k dates per day) let's not lose sight of the real problem

praptak 6y ago
Curiously, there is a solution that works on both problems! It is being extremely cheap.
blahbhthrow3748 6y ago
It took a second but I'm assuming this is some MRA bullshit? If you don't wanna pay for a date be up front about it and split the cost.
- earthscienceman 6y ago
  it's always hilarious to me that feminism is always the clear solution to these petty MRA talking points. feminism wants to split the check, if MRA types embraced feminism a lot of the things that hurt them would evaporate.
fjdjsmsm 6y ago
What is the real problem?
- fxtentacle 6y ago
  I presume Op meant that romance fraud only works because people are used to romance being expensive.

DoreenMichele 6y ago

This goes places that probably aren't going to be much appreciated on HN. This is a hard problem to solve and it's complicated.

voldacar 6y ago
valuable and insightful comment

mandeepj 6y ago

You know what's interesting here? - The steps/trap or the playbook that these scammers have mastered

brohee 6y ago

Vautour meaning vulture in French, nice aptonym.

apozem 6y ago

> “What people don’t understand is how the victims in these scams are manipulated and groomed. For the criminals, this is their job and they are extremely good at it,” says Roy Beauchamp. In most cases a fraudster will start with “love bombing,” either online or in person. The technique—flooding a person with affection and attention to fast-track intimacy and build dependence—is also used in cult recruitment strategies. Mirroring—reflecting a person’s experiences, likes and dislikes—is another effective tool for creating the illusion of having found one’s “other half.” It is easy to scoff at other people’s mistakes, but ultimately, we’re all a mess of biological impulses that want to be loved. I like to think of myself as reasonably smart, but against someone like the guy described in this article? Who’s had tons of practice conning others? It would probably be like like going in the ring with a pro MMA fighter. > A Federal Trade Commission survey from 2013 found that participants who had experienced trauma—a death, a divorce, a stressful career incident—in the previous 24 months were more than two-and-a-half times as likely to have experienced fraud than those who had not. Astonishingly cruel.

sjg007 6y ago
I think the strategy is to avoid someone who doesn’t have a job locally that’s verifiable and not give them money.
- finaliteration 6y ago
  The challenge is that even having a strategy fails when you’re in a vulnerable place and someone comes along and says and does all of the “right” things. Many people are deeply lonely and will do and believe anything someone says if that someone is offering love and affection.
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]
econcon 6y ago
Usually people are not that blind. They pay others for their company when they make these mistakes. Is a guy getting on hook for child support being scammed? Is a guy on hook for alimony being scammed? I guess he also at some point was living under illusion that this relationship will last a lifetime. I think personal matters like this are not worth going after, it's people making decisions based on evidences someone else provides them. Now if they lost the money, it's their own fault.

axaxs 6y ago

This is a really big spectrum, and I wonder what the true cost is. Due to my position, I have a lot of firsthand knowledge from people who have either been unknowingly or knowingly 'scammed'. That is, some guys knew the women just wanted money in the end, but didn't mind because they loved having someone to talk to. Many were married. Some even 'married' women and brought them to the USA, under a relationship more akin to a caretaker than a wife. I guess both sides benefit in some way, but in reality, it's still a scam, if not to anyone but the US Government. And some truly just want money and disappear, which is what the article references. This happened to my aunt, and she wrote off her family for trying to stop her. Really sad. I consider all three scams of some sort, and the real money involved would balloon.