If you're reading this, I'm dead ... I mean you're dead. Everyone's dead. That bitch that dumped us in the high school is dead (haha). Bambi is dead. John Conno

If you're reading this, I'm dead ... I mean you're dead. Everyone's dead. That bitch that dumped us in the high school is dead (haha). Bambi is dead. John Connor is dead. Even Chuck Norris is dead. The "endangered species list" is a fking one-liner with a shitpile emoji. You may ask what happened - well, as they tried to remove the orange butthead from the White House after the second term, he headbutted the big red button to prevent being replaced by a woman. Most of us died fast. Others could enjoy a few president-colored sunsets, while screaming in pain, and slowly disintegrating. The only survivers were the astronauts of the ISS, Adam, Eve, and Joe. But instead of re-enacting the Bible in the coziness of zero gravity, they caught Musk's Tesla and tried to use its Autopilot to land on Mars. They'll burn in the Sun soon. But until then they'll be freezing to death in a frigging roadster. Have fun.