Exactly. How dare they take a traumatic event and use it to think about what might link them to the victim; to consider experiences and habits you might share

Exactly. How dare they take a traumatic event and use it to think about what might link them to the victim; to consider experiences and habits you might share with the victim of this unfortunate event is selfish. Don't you all know that this is a time for self-serving finger-waging by ignorant scolds who are here to tell you what is and is not an acceptable format for sharing grief? "Grief does not change you, it reveals you." Would you like to know what I think it has revealed in this instance?