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I don't think the current social climate is conducive to this advice anymore. It was probably helpful in around 2008 to 2015. It's hard to think of a situation

I don't think the current social climate is conducive to this advice anymore. It was probably helpful in around 2008 to 2015. It's hard to think of a situation where being unlikable is an advantage, today. Even in situations pg likes to point out – for example, if you think for yourself, you often upset others – you can do that privately rather than publicly, and still get the same advantage. EDIT: there is one situation where you must be “unlikable” in a certain sense: if you think a company should do x, and someone else with equal authority thinks it should do y, and the decision is important. But even then, it’s probably easier to convince them with social aikido (or to let yourself be convinced), not assert dominance.

prohobo 6y ago
I think the article's title is click bait. It goes on to essentially say that not conforming to others' ideas isn't necessarily a bad thing, and often contributes to success. Seems pretty obvious to me. The author misconstrues (maybe only in order to twist the message to fit the title) being a jerk with being independent and taking risks. Were some change-makers also jerks? Yeah, but it's not a rule, it's just more visible when that's the case.
- antepodius 6y ago
  If you're uncompromising on some issue, someone, somewhere will perceive you as a jerk.
jariel 6y ago
" easier to convince them with social aikido (or to let yourself be convinced), not assert dominance." There is a much easier 3rd way, and that is for people to act like adults, realise they are not always going to get their way, in which case someone may have somewhat more legit authority and to let that decision happen without making it about ego. If someone needs to have emotional aikido applied to them, they're not a professional. If someone is constantly having to 'assert dominance' they're probably not a professional either. Find a way to roughly agree and move on ... without any lingering karma.
finnthehuman 6y ago
>I don't think the current social climate is conducive to this advice anymore. The advice is at it's most meaningful in uptight times like these. >it’s probably easier to convince them with social aikido [] not assert dominance. What about just regular assertiveness? It's neither domineering nor artful to be grouped with something like "aikido." Sometimes it's just not possible to both get your way when you're right and remain a people pleaser. Which makes me think by "aikido" you're just referring to the kind of passive aggressive or manipulative people that fucked us into the social climate we find ourselves in today.

prohobo 6y ago

I think the article's title is click bait. It goes on to essentially say that not conforming to others' ideas isn't necessarily a bad thing, and often contributes to success. Seems pretty obvious to me. The author misconstrues (maybe only in order to twist the message to fit the title) being a jerk with being independent and taking risks. Were some change-makers also jerks? Yeah, but it's not a rule, it's just more visible when that's the case.

antepodius 6y ago
If you're uncompromising on some issue, someone, somewhere will perceive you as a jerk.

jariel 6y ago

" easier to convince them with social aikido (or to let yourself be convinced), not assert dominance." There is a much easier 3rd way, and that is for people to act like adults, realise they are not always going to get their way, in which case someone may have somewhat more legit authority and to let that decision happen without making it about ego. If someone needs to have emotional aikido applied to them, they're not a professional. If someone is constantly having to 'assert dominance' they're probably not a professional either. Find a way to roughly agree and move on ... without any lingering karma.

finnthehuman 6y ago

>I don't think the current social climate is conducive to this advice anymore. The advice is at it's most meaningful in uptight times like these. >it’s probably easier to convince them with social aikido [] not assert dominance. What about just regular assertiveness? It's neither domineering nor artful to be grouped with something like "aikido." Sometimes it's just not possible to both get your way when you're right and remain a people pleaser. Which makes me think by "aikido" you're just referring to the kind of passive aggressive or manipulative people that fucked us into the social climate we find ourselves in today.