3 ms·

Trying to figure out whether you're too domineering and arrogant by reading internet articles is crazy. Ask the people close to you.

dvtrn 6y ago
There’s benefits in a healthy amount of both, doing it well requires balance like a lot of things do-plus the self-awareness and humility to reflect both on what you’re reading and being told by those around you.
- bananaface 6y ago
  I think this is the kind of area where almost all the advice will be so bad that you'll probably end up worse than when you started.
  - dvtrn 6y ago
    That’s quite a large brush to paint with.
    - bananaface 6y ago
      Let me explain my position a bit more. Articles by definition can't analyse you. The entire medium is ill-suited to the task. They won't be able to take a look at you and give their interpretation, which is what you really need if you're trying to figure out this problem. Anything else risks being mental masturbation, but the less obvious implication is that articles have an incentive to be mental masturbation. They're much, much more likely to feed your ego than deconstruct it. Commercial resources from major publications are obvious garbage, but look at non-commercial ventures. Look at the kind of people who read LessWrong - do they become easier to talk to? Less arrogant and obtuse, more receptive to nuance? My experience is they're extremely dense & hard to talk to. Why is that? The content of the blog is fairly direct in telling them the risks & flaws in assuming they know better, right? IMO it's because the blog primarily acts as an identity reinforcement device. The content is irrelevant, from a psychological perspective it ends up being used to reinforce & defend the identity of "more rational than others".
cutemonster 6y ago
Not that easy -- some of them will just want to be friends / want you to feel happy, and tell you what they think you want to hear.
- bananaface 6y ago
  So will internet articles, but they're designed by professionals. You think that's easier to see through? But look, at least with friends there's a genuine understanding of you that you can try and dig out. An article by its nature has no insight into your presentation. It can't react to you.

dvtrn 6y ago

There’s benefits in a healthy amount of both, doing it well requires balance like a lot of things do-plus the self-awareness and humility to reflect both on what you’re reading and being told by those around you.

bananaface 6y ago
I think this is the kind of area where almost all the advice will be so bad that you'll probably end up worse than when you started.
- dvtrn 6y ago
  That’s quite a large brush to paint with.
  - bananaface 6y ago
    Let me explain my position a bit more. Articles by definition can't analyse you. The entire medium is ill-suited to the task. They won't be able to take a look at you and give their interpretation, which is what you really need if you're trying to figure out this problem. Anything else risks being mental masturbation, but the less obvious implication is that articles have an incentive to be mental masturbation. They're much, much more likely to feed your ego than deconstruct it. Commercial resources from major publications are obvious garbage, but look at non-commercial ventures. Look at the kind of people who read LessWrong - do they become easier to talk to? Less arrogant and obtuse, more receptive to nuance? My experience is they're extremely dense & hard to talk to. Why is that? The content of the blog is fairly direct in telling them the risks & flaws in assuming they know better, right? IMO it's because the blog primarily acts as an identity reinforcement device. The content is irrelevant, from a psychological perspective it ends up being used to reinforce & defend the identity of "more rational than others".

cutemonster 6y ago

Not that easy -- some of them will just want to be friends / want you to feel happy, and tell you what they think you want to hear.

bananaface 6y ago
So will internet articles, but they're designed by professionals. You think that's easier to see through? But look, at least with friends there's a genuine understanding of you that you can try and dig out. An article by its nature has no insight into your presentation. It can't react to you.