4 ms·

The more I know, the more there is to learn... this is what causes impostor syndrome.

ChrisMarshallNY 6y ago
I always equate "impostor syndrome" to being insecure. There's a ton of stuff I don't know, and that's fine. I'm not afraid to ask "stupid" questions, and let folks know that I don't know something. Sometimes, I have no interest in knowing it, so I don't ask questions about it, and don't pretend that I know anything about it. But there's also a lot of stuff I do know. At one time, I didn't know it, and asked a question. Now I know it. The only annoying thing about my approach, is that when I state confidence in what I do know, it's perceived as "arrogance," and when I state what I don't know, I'm labeled as "stupid," or "lazy" (I'm none of the above). I've learned to ignore this type of thing, and go ahead and ask my silly questions. Over the years, I have become better at asking questions. That's an art, in its own right. Sometimes, the best way to get a correct answer, is to state something wrong. People will fall all over themselves to correct me. It can be grating, because they are sometimes rather nasty about it, but they also tend to do their homework, to make sure they are right, and I can rely on their response. I've also found that the world will continue to rotate whether or not I provide my opinion/experience/knowledge at every opportunity that pops up. I'd like people to respect me, but I won't go off into the desert to die, because someone on the Internet doesn't like me.
- kubanczyk 6y ago
  Well, knowing something is not arrogance. Stating that you know something is arrogance, unless you take precautions. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm saying the situation perfectly matches the dictionary definition of the word "arrogance". Everyone around here surely knows that it's often sufficient to prefix the opinion with "everyone here surely knows that <X>". Because if you say raw "X" very confidently, people immediately assume that your full implicit message is "I cannot believe I even have to waste my precious time to explain to you nitwits that <X>".
  - ChrisMarshallNY 6y ago
    I'm a fairly literal person ("on the spectrum"). If I know something, I say "I know this." If I don't know something, I say "I don't know this." If I think I have insight into something, I say "This looks like..." My experience, here, and in many other places, is that people seem to have a deep-seated need to "put down" other people. We jump on openings from others with an almost fanatic zeal. You won't find much (if any) of that stuff in my postings; here, or anywhere else I participate. It's just not important for me to be "better" than anyone else (see "on the spectrum," above -I seem to have different motivational drivers from many folks). It's my experience that I can learn from just about anyone, and that I can sometimes find that what I thought was right, was actually wrong. I'm pretty much self-taught in software development. It has served me very well. I've been delivering software for decades, but it has also sometimes handicapped me in other ways, by maybe missing something that CS majors get (I was an EE), or by not knowing the current vocabulary for something. I remember once, in the 1990s, asking someone "What's 'AJAX'?" They all laughed at me, but explained it. I ate my crow, didn't react, and went home, realizing that it was just HTTPRequest. Within a week, I had written a very powerful AJAX driver. Sometimes, the people that laugh at me are doing me a favor. It doesn't really help things if I kick back. I've learned that I should keep my mouth shut, and learn from them.
    - kubanczyk 6y ago
      > people seem to have a deep-seated need to "put down" other people Well, of course they do. All the time. It's a fine way to improve status in a social group and to get more meat after we kill our next mammoth.

I always equate "impostor syndrome" to being insecure. There's a ton of stuff I don't know, and that's fine. I'm not afraid to ask "stupid" questions, and let folks know that I don't know something. Sometimes, I have no interest in knowing it, so I don't ask questions about it, and don't pretend that I know anything about it. But there's also a lot of stuff I do know. At one time, I didn't know it, and asked a question. Now I know it. The only annoying thing about my approach, is that when I state confidence in what I do know, it's perceived as "arrogance," and when I state what I don't know, I'm labeled as "stupid," or "lazy" (I'm none of the above). I've learned to ignore this type of thing, and go ahead and ask my silly questions. Over the years, I have become better at asking questions. That's an art, in its own right. Sometimes, the best way to get a correct answer, is to state something wrong. People will fall all over themselves to correct me. It can be grating, because they are sometimes rather nasty about it, but they also tend to do their homework, to make sure they are right, and I can rely on their response. I've also found that the world will continue to rotate whether or not I provide my opinion/experience/knowledge at every opportunity that pops up. I'd like people to respect me, but I won't go off into the desert to die, because someone on the Internet doesn't like me.

kubanczyk 6y ago
Well, knowing something is not arrogance. Stating that you know something is arrogance, unless you take precautions. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm saying the situation perfectly matches the dictionary definition of the word "arrogance". Everyone around here surely knows that it's often sufficient to prefix the opinion with "everyone here surely knows that <X>". Because if you say raw "X" very confidently, people immediately assume that your full implicit message is "I cannot believe I even have to waste my precious time to explain to you nitwits that <X>".
- ChrisMarshallNY 6y ago
  I'm a fairly literal person ("on the spectrum"). If I know something, I say "I know this." If I don't know something, I say "I don't know this." If I think I have insight into something, I say "This looks like..." My experience, here, and in many other places, is that people seem to have a deep-seated need to "put down" other people. We jump on openings from others with an almost fanatic zeal. You won't find much (if any) of that stuff in my postings; here, or anywhere else I participate. It's just not important for me to be "better" than anyone else (see "on the spectrum," above -I seem to have different motivational drivers from many folks). It's my experience that I can learn from just about anyone, and that I can sometimes find that what I thought was right, was actually wrong. I'm pretty much self-taught in software development. It has served me very well. I've been delivering software for decades, but it has also sometimes handicapped me in other ways, by maybe missing something that CS majors get (I was an EE), or by not knowing the current vocabulary for something. I remember once, in the 1990s, asking someone "What's 'AJAX'?" They all laughed at me, but explained it. I ate my crow, didn't react, and went home, realizing that it was just HTTPRequest. Within a week, I had written a very powerful AJAX driver. Sometimes, the people that laugh at me are doing me a favor. It doesn't really help things if I kick back. I've learned that I should keep my mouth shut, and learn from them.
  - kubanczyk 6y ago
    > people seem to have a deep-seated need to "put down" other people Well, of course they do. All the time. It's a fine way to improve status in a social group and to get more meat after we kill our next mammoth.