5 ms·

85% of Chinese international students say they don't have one American friend

3 points by sprague 6y ago

sprague 6y ago
This has definitely been my experience. Language and cultural differences make close friendships with US students difficult and International students are often forced to associate with one another instead. A real tragedy when many/most of these international students go back to their home countries.
mytailorisrich 6y ago
For whatever cultural reasons Chinese abroad tend to stick with other Chinese. Since there are many Chinese students in the US (and Canada, UK, etc.) they often don't really interact much outside their circle of Chinese friends. Now, of course it's not easy to move to a different country with a different language and culture, but I think that the cultural aspect specific to Chinese plays a significant part. I think Indians are somewhat similar in maintaining a strong community among themselves when abroad. In general, I would say that the best thing that can happen to you if you go to study abroad is to end up being alone. That really forces you to integrate with the local people, culture, and language, which I think is the whole point of going abroad.
ksaj 6y ago
In my school, the Chinese students grouped together, and the Vietnamese grouped together. They stayed that way nearly exclusively, and picked on each other relentlessly, refusing to speak any language (including English) among each other except for their native language. So at least with that experience, I'm not sure this is a Western problem. I can't imagine that any white person would try to infiltrate and make friends in either group considering how they were treating each other and being so exclusive to themselves. And the fact that they purposely made sure nobody "outside" the group could understand them. Not only that, the Asians who didn't hang around in either of these tight-knit groups were labelled something akin to "banana" - white on the inside and yellow on the outside - and taunted for trying hide their Asianness. It all boils down to a solid confirmation that mixing wasn't allowed in any direction. Friendships are two-way endeavours. I'm not saying everyone self-segregates, and I'm sure that even a lot of people who do actually wish they weren't doing it. But it is so common that I think it is unfair to blame it on Western culture.
- JoeAltmaier 6y ago
  In my work experience, immigrants were just waiting for a native, any native, to invite them. I've invited Engineer couples over for dinner from time to time, and if they originated in other countries the common thread is, it was the first time ever they'd been invited by an American. Sometimes they'd been in America for years.
  - ksaj 6y ago
    Agreed. There is a difference between people who come to the West on their own accord to live and work, versus their children who basically have to move with their parents, and are happy enough to take the path of least resistance when it comes to making friends and acquaintances. I used to board ESL students, and they worked extremely hard at communicating with others without wrapping themselves in a cultural bubble. Actually, we had lots of fun discussing similarities and differences for words and concepts. I learned from a Korean boarder that English has gerunds. Funny that I've used them all my life and it never occurred to me that there would be a word for it.
  - sprague 6y ago
    That is so true, and good for you for reaching out. I'm sure those immigrants will remember those dinners as a highlight of the time they were in the US.
president 6y ago
Part of the reason is because the Chinese Students and Scholars Associations (CSSA) on most campuses, who work tightly with the local consular offices (read: CCP), dissuade Chinese students from mingling with foreigners lest they become "brainwashed". See https://foreignpolicy.com/2018/03/07/chinas-long-arm-reaches-into-american-campuses-chinese-students-scholars-association-university-communist-party/ https://foreignpolicy.com/2018/03/07/chinas-long-arm-reaches....

3 points by sprague 6y ago

This has definitely been my experience. Language and cultural differences make close friendships with US students difficult and International students are often forced to associate with one another instead. A real tragedy when many/most of these international students go back to their home countries.

mytailorisrich 6y ago

For whatever cultural reasons Chinese abroad tend to stick with other Chinese. Since there are many Chinese students in the US (and Canada, UK, etc.) they often don't really interact much outside their circle of Chinese friends. Now, of course it's not easy to move to a different country with a different language and culture, but I think that the cultural aspect specific to Chinese plays a significant part. I think Indians are somewhat similar in maintaining a strong community among themselves when abroad. In general, I would say that the best thing that can happen to you if you go to study abroad is to end up being alone. That really forces you to integrate with the local people, culture, and language, which I think is the whole point of going abroad.

ksaj 6y ago

In my school, the Chinese students grouped together, and the Vietnamese grouped together. They stayed that way nearly exclusively, and picked on each other relentlessly, refusing to speak any language (including English) among each other except for their native language. So at least with that experience, I'm not sure this is a Western problem. I can't imagine that any white person would try to infiltrate and make friends in either group considering how they were treating each other and being so exclusive to themselves. And the fact that they purposely made sure nobody "outside" the group could understand them. Not only that, the Asians who didn't hang around in either of these tight-knit groups were labelled something akin to "banana" - white on the inside and yellow on the outside - and taunted for trying hide their Asianness. It all boils down to a solid confirmation that mixing wasn't allowed in any direction. Friendships are two-way endeavours. I'm not saying everyone self-segregates, and I'm sure that even a lot of people who do actually wish they weren't doing it. But it is so common that I think it is unfair to blame it on Western culture.

JoeAltmaier 6y ago
In my work experience, immigrants were just waiting for a native, any native, to invite them. I've invited Engineer couples over for dinner from time to time, and if they originated in other countries the common thread is, it was the first time ever they'd been invited by an American. Sometimes they'd been in America for years.
- ksaj 6y ago
  Agreed. There is a difference between people who come to the West on their own accord to live and work, versus their children who basically have to move with their parents, and are happy enough to take the path of least resistance when it comes to making friends and acquaintances. I used to board ESL students, and they worked extremely hard at communicating with others without wrapping themselves in a cultural bubble. Actually, we had lots of fun discussing similarities and differences for words and concepts. I learned from a Korean boarder that English has gerunds. Funny that I've used them all my life and it never occurred to me that there would be a word for it.
- sprague 6y ago
  That is so true, and good for you for reaching out. I'm sure those immigrants will remember those dinners as a highlight of the time they were in the US.

president 6y ago

Part of the reason is because the Chinese Students and Scholars Associations (CSSA) on most campuses, who work tightly with the local consular offices (read: CCP), dissuade Chinese students from mingling with foreigners lest they become "brainwashed". See https://foreignpolicy.com/2018/03/07/chinas-long-arm-reaches-into-american-campuses-chinese-students-scholars-association-university-communist-party/ https://foreignpolicy.com/2018/03/07/chinas-long-arm-reaches....