4 ms·

I've subconsciously burnt a number of opportunities to end up in a relationship with perfectly good women over the last few years. I work full time, I'm a singl

I've subconsciously burnt a number of opportunities to end up in a relationship with perfectly good women over the last few years. I work full time, I'm a single father and I'm studying. I get time to date between uni semesters but deep down I think I realise I don't have time for a stable relationship. At the same time I'm a human who has needs to develop connections with others, develop intimacy, etc. I don't see why dating-forever is seen as such a bad thing if you actually like dating.

borroka 6y ago
Most of the norms of behavior and goals we find — at first – desirable are often nothing more than what novelist and people of imagination have repeatedly written or spoken about. But life is not a romance novel, there are rarely happy endings, and according to most people who got married, their spouse sounded more interesting a few years back. Why someone should be "the one"? How is it possible, if not by chance, that someone you find desirable in your 20s is still as desirable 30 years later? Then, when I hear that relationship need work to work, I want to run away as fast as Général du Pommeau. Next. As it is often the case, it boils down to personality, character traits, and culture; if you are someone who is intrinsically and culturally driven to long-term, if not forever, relationships, fine. But if you are not, live your life and respectfully forget about what novelist and imaginative people have written about. I traveled the world on my own, dated everywhere, and fulfilled my childhood dreams of desire and be desired. I had a few multi-year relationships, but don't make me think about them or you'd ruin my day. Had I listened to the spirit of the times or of the place, I would have ended up miserable, sad, and probably out of shape. Instead, when I am in bed and close to fall asleep, I often think about the exciting life I had, the amazing people I intimately knew, and the dreams I have for tomorrow. To each their own, always. And life has different phases and new desires will knock on my door, maybe a kid, maybe a long-term relationship, but always (I hope...) my choice.

borroka 6y ago

Most of the norms of behavior and goals we find — at first – desirable are often nothing more than what novelist and people of imagination have repeatedly written or spoken about. But life is not a romance novel, there are rarely happy endings, and according to most people who got married, their spouse sounded more interesting a few years back. Why someone should be "the one"? How is it possible, if not by chance, that someone you find desirable in your 20s is still as desirable 30 years later? Then, when I hear that relationship need work to work, I want to run away as fast as Général du Pommeau. Next. As it is often the case, it boils down to personality, character traits, and culture; if you are someone who is intrinsically and culturally driven to long-term, if not forever, relationships, fine. But if you are not, live your life and respectfully forget about what novelist and imaginative people have written about. I traveled the world on my own, dated everywhere, and fulfilled my childhood dreams of desire and be desired. I had a few multi-year relationships, but don't make me think about them or you'd ruin my day. Had I listened to the spirit of the times or of the place, I would have ended up miserable, sad, and probably out of shape. Instead, when I am in bed and close to fall asleep, I often think about the exciting life I had, the amazing people I intimately knew, and the dreams I have for tomorrow. To each their own, always. And life has different phases and new desires will knock on my door, maybe a kid, maybe a long-term relationship, but always (I hope...) my choice.