2 ms·

I'll chime in with my experience. I married a partner who gave me a strong sense of trust and we now have a child together and are a happy family. We are not ve

I'll chime in with my experience. I married a partner who gave me a strong sense of trust and we now have a child together and are a happy family. We are not very compatible in the sense that we have different mindsets and personalities but share values. We both agreed that rather than trying to change each other we should strive to complete each other instead. It is hard work, but I have the sense that marriage is never easy. Previous to meeting each other I dated a bit more than she did. I did the online dating and it did not work at for my personality. We ended up being introduced by a common friend. Edit: I think it may be relevant to the discussion. Im in my early 40s and she's in her late 30s so marrying was bound to happen at some point around this age.

war1025 6y ago
> We are not very compatible in the sense that we have different mindsets and personalities but share values. The way I've heard this phrased is that you don't want to marry someone with the same strengths as you, you want to marry someone who has the strengths you are lacking. You want someone who will complement you.
- grugagag 6y ago
  This is not something I was specifically looking for when I was dating. I wasn't very sure what I was looking for to be honest, I think I was trying find someone to get along with as well as be attracted physically. When I was dating I wasn't even looking for a wife and this is a bit of a problem with the dating culture, only few want to take this step. This is important because it take your life to a different level or completely wreck it if the marriage fails and end up with kids and bills
  - war1025 6y ago
    > When I was dating I wasn't even looking for a wife and this is a bit of a problem with the dating culture I can see how someone could easily get stuck in the idea of "dating" as a thing. I got married at 23, so I guess that's a stage of my life I didn't spend much time in.

war1025 6y ago

> We are not very compatible in the sense that we have different mindsets and personalities but share values. The way I've heard this phrased is that you don't want to marry someone with the same strengths as you, you want to marry someone who has the strengths you are lacking. You want someone who will complement you.

grugagag 6y ago
This is not something I was specifically looking for when I was dating. I wasn't very sure what I was looking for to be honest, I think I was trying find someone to get along with as well as be attracted physically. When I was dating I wasn't even looking for a wife and this is a bit of a problem with the dating culture, only few want to take this step. This is important because it take your life to a different level or completely wreck it if the marriage fails and end up with kids and bills
- war1025 6y ago
  > When I was dating I wasn't even looking for a wife and this is a bit of a problem with the dating culture I can see how someone could easily get stuck in the idea of "dating" as a thing. I got married at 23, so I guess that's a stage of my life I didn't spend much time in.