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Damn, that's me in 10 years. I'm so bad at my job that my only hope is that I go by unnoticed long enough so my time in the company becomes a strong reason not

Damn, that's me in 10 years. I'm so bad at my job that my only hope is that I go by unnoticed long enough so my time in the company becomes a strong reason not to fire me. It's been almost two years so far. The thing is I really try to improve, and in some ways I even do, but at a painfully slow pace. Even though I've been in this company for nearly two years I've been working as a software developer since 2012. And it hurts so much to see people coming fresh out of college outperforming me by orders of magnitude. It makes me feel really stupid. But is a really well paying job in a somewhat big company, so I hold onto the hope that if I don't screw up things too much my employers won't even acknowledge my existence. In the end I only feel bad for the people I work with (not those I work for) because they are nice and talented people and it must suck to work with someone that lowers the team's bar.

caymanjim 6y ago
Maybe there's a better job out there for you? Either at another company where you'll get mentoring and support for growth, or in an entirely different career. It doesn't sound like you enjoy what you're doing now. I've stagnated at jobs in the past. I've thought it was my problem. Then I moved on to better places, where coworkers helped each other to excel, where people placed a premium on improvement and education. If your company shoves everyone into a cubicle and assigns them individual tasks, how are you ever going to learn? If you can get a job somewhere that embraces pair programming, you might find a whole different world. You can be mentored by your coworkers and collectively solve problems, instead of feeling like you need to put your head down and produce something on your own that may be beyond your expertise. Fresh grads, especially grads out of code schools, often arrive with a lot of buzzwords ready to go, and a script of practices they've been told are the right way, but that's all flash and no substance. It can lead to overconfidence. There's something to be said for it, though; you can fake it until you make it. The important part is that you actually make it in the end, and to do that, you need mentoring. It sounds like you're not getting the mentoring. I know it's hard to quit a well-paid job and take a chance, but I think that's better than going to work every day hoping you won't get fired, and not growing as an individual.
- SwiftyBug 6y ago
  I actually like this job. We do pair programming regularly, which is the source of most of my worries that I'm not good enough. My team has a dedicated manager whose job is to mentor us in our careers. I like him and he seems to like me, he is always willing to listen and to offer help. I think the company is outstanding in providing a healthy environment. Which is why I feel so out of place. Everyone is so smart and grows so notably much and I feel I'm falling behind.
JaggedNZ 6y ago
"The thing is I really try to improve", that statement alone makes me think you are not one of these people. Don't underestimate the value of slow and steady in the world of corporate development. Many fresh out of college might seem like super stars developers that know all the latest buzz word technologies, I know this is a massive generalisation, but they don't like to work on "boring" or "legacy" and often quick to jump ship to the next opportunity. Also, please be aware that this feeling is a common symptom of imposter syndrome.

caymanjim 6y ago

Maybe there's a better job out there for you? Either at another company where you'll get mentoring and support for growth, or in an entirely different career. It doesn't sound like you enjoy what you're doing now. I've stagnated at jobs in the past. I've thought it was my problem. Then I moved on to better places, where coworkers helped each other to excel, where people placed a premium on improvement and education. If your company shoves everyone into a cubicle and assigns them individual tasks, how are you ever going to learn? If you can get a job somewhere that embraces pair programming, you might find a whole different world. You can be mentored by your coworkers and collectively solve problems, instead of feeling like you need to put your head down and produce something on your own that may be beyond your expertise. Fresh grads, especially grads out of code schools, often arrive with a lot of buzzwords ready to go, and a script of practices they've been told are the right way, but that's all flash and no substance. It can lead to overconfidence. There's something to be said for it, though; you can fake it until you make it. The important part is that you actually make it in the end, and to do that, you need mentoring. It sounds like you're not getting the mentoring. I know it's hard to quit a well-paid job and take a chance, but I think that's better than going to work every day hoping you won't get fired, and not growing as an individual.

SwiftyBug 6y ago
I actually like this job. We do pair programming regularly, which is the source of most of my worries that I'm not good enough. My team has a dedicated manager whose job is to mentor us in our careers. I like him and he seems to like me, he is always willing to listen and to offer help. I think the company is outstanding in providing a healthy environment. Which is why I feel so out of place. Everyone is so smart and grows so notably much and I feel I'm falling behind.

JaggedNZ 6y ago

"The thing is I really try to improve", that statement alone makes me think you are not one of these people. Don't underestimate the value of slow and steady in the world of corporate development. Many fresh out of college might seem like super stars developers that know all the latest buzz word technologies, I know this is a massive generalisation, but they don't like to work on "boring" or "legacy" and often quick to jump ship to the next opportunity. Also, please be aware that this feeling is a common symptom of imposter syndrome.