6 ms·

OK, let me give this a shot... In the past year or two, I have learned my greatest life lesson. As a lifelong high achiever, it was extremely counter-intuitiv

by edw519 16y ago

OK, let me give this a shot... In the past year or two, I have learned my greatest life lesson. As a lifelong high achiever, it was extremely counter-intuitive yet it was right in front of me all along. First, a little background... In the past couple of years: - My father died. - My aunt (and best friend) died. - My cousin (who was really like my brother) died. - My 19 year old cat died. - We had our first ever family reunion. - My mother's dimentia has turned her back into a child. Sure we all have great memories and are busy working at building even better futures, but ultimately it all boils down to: All we have is now. My pets have been trying to teach me this for years, if only I had listened. And now my mother is teaching me. They don't really remember yesterday. They don't care about tomorrow. But they really care about the moment. Intensely. I have had to really slow down and let this sink in. When I visit my mother in her nursing home, we have a great time laughing, talking, visiting others, and of course, playing Jeopardy. We can't have the conversations we used to, so we just have new experiences, one time only, in the moment, and only for those who are there. We never talk about the past and she simply doesn't understand, "I'll see you tomorrow." I haven't stopped building my future, but I no longer sacrifice the present in order to get there. I have learned that the process must be as enjoyable as the outcome. After all, the process is "now" and the outcome is just an instant in time. It may sound cliche, but everyone should take inventory of all the good stuff in their lives (especially other people) and make the most of it now. You'll be surprised how quickly it'll be gone. Don't wait half your life to learn my most valuable counter-intuitive lesson.

CallMeV 16y ago
All we have is now. Bingo. If I had to like or upvote only one thing today, anywhere, I would upvote this. I seriously wish I could upvote it twice. Thank you for reminding me.
ihodes 16y ago
It does sound cliché. And, respectfully, I think it's just as wrong [Edit: not wrong, but maybe shortsighted. Then again, if what I say in the following paragraphs doesn't change your view in the slightest, then more power to you: my view isn't the absolute. Do what you think is "right", whatever right might be.] as most clichés tend to be. We have now, certainly, and now is amazing. But we have the past, too; at least for a while (dementia and all sorts of other things can rob us of the past). We have the future, too (though we can be robbed of that). I live for all three. The past is where I draw from to inform my present actions; the present is where I enjoy myself and prepare for the future; the future is where we're all heading. If I lived for the now, I wouldn't be going to college. I wouldn't be planning to study for a PhD in Neuroscience and researching assistive brain/spine implants. I wouldn't study programming languages and designs. I wouldn't be reading The Intelligent Investor. In fact, if you lived for the now, you'd probably be living in a soma-induced haze à la Huxley's Brave New World: it'd be the optimal choice, in fact. Pure neurochemical bliss. The argument that you should live for now because you could be dead at any second is obscene, to me: it's more likely that you live than you die, and you're likely to be consistently happier now and in the future if you act like you'll be alive in the future. Evidence: planning for retirement. Seriously. So live for yourself, sure, but live for all of yourself. Think of yourself as a smudge on a timeline: not in one place, not just in the past, not just in the future. Optimize the smudge.
- wallflower 16y ago
  "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." -Mahatma Gandhi
  - jamesbritt 16y ago
    When I look at people who seem to have lived long, vibrant lives, people such as Frank Lloyd Wright or Georgia O'Keeffe, I see people who acted as if they expected to live forever. What stands out as a key difference between the happy and the unhappy is the belief that good, interesting, exiting things are ahead. Hell, more than half the fun of a vacation is the expectation of the fun you're going to have. (See also: certain beliefs in an afterlife.) It pains me, as I get older, to see some of my friends and family shift from being upbeat and energetic, folks who made plans for the future, to dour and nostalgic, as if everything good that might ever happen to them has already passed. Fuck that. Never stop.
    - ihodes 16y ago
      Thanks. Living only for today is living For a fraction of your life. This is what I've seen, too. Today's great, but tomorrow always can be better. I live every day, and I want to live for the rest of them.
- yason 16y ago
  Clichés are clichés for a reason. Yes, we have past, present, and future. But you can't change past: it's gone so in the end it's not much to live for. You can't live for future either: you can just project now into something you think would be a good future. Thus, even planning for future happens now. It is now when anything happens and where any choices are made. Past and future are important and useful, but they only exist as concepts in your mind. You can't live future or past and while trying to do so can be soothing it will never get you anywhere. In my humble opinion, it is foolish to underestimate the special position of now.
  - ihodes 16y ago
k7d 16y ago
Something quite similar happened to me few years ago and I ended up with a very scary case of dysautonomia. Luckly it only lasted for couple month, but in this rather short period of time my whole perspective on live changed. It was only then when I truly started to appreciate the saying "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."
evo_9 16y ago
All We Have Is Now As logic stands you couldn't meet a man who's from the future But logic broke as he appeared he spoke about the Future "We're not gonna make it" He explained how the end will come you and me were never meant to be part of the future All we have is now All we've ever had was now All we have is now All we'll ever have is now I noticed that he had a watch in hand that looked familiar He was me - from a dimension torn free of the future "We're not gonna make it" He explained how the end will come You and me were never meant to be part of the future All we have is now All we've ever had was now All we have is now All we'll ever have is now All we have is now - The Flaming Lips http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aacl6KCaCmE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aacl6KCaCmE
mtran 16y ago
I'm convinced that being 100% present, "in the moment" for as many moments as possible is the real key to happiness. It's where the magic happens, in terms of productivity, relationships, learning, creativity... but BOY is it challenging to live that way every day!

by edw519 16y ago

CallMeV 16y ago

All we have is now. Bingo. If I had to like or upvote only one thing today, anywhere, I would upvote this. I seriously wish I could upvote it twice. Thank you for reminding me.

ihodes 16y ago

It does sound cliché. And, respectfully, I think it's just as wrong [Edit: not wrong, but maybe shortsighted. Then again, if what I say in the following paragraphs doesn't change your view in the slightest, then more power to you: my view isn't the absolute. Do what you think is "right", whatever right might be.] as most clichés tend to be. We have now, certainly, and now is amazing. But we have the past, too; at least for a while (dementia and all sorts of other things can rob us of the past). We have the future, too (though we can be robbed of that). I live for all three. The past is where I draw from to inform my present actions; the present is where I enjoy myself and prepare for the future; the future is where we're all heading. If I lived for the now, I wouldn't be going to college. I wouldn't be planning to study for a PhD in Neuroscience and researching assistive brain/spine implants. I wouldn't study programming languages and designs. I wouldn't be reading The Intelligent Investor. In fact, if you lived for the now, you'd probably be living in a soma-induced haze à la Huxley's Brave New World: it'd be the optimal choice, in fact. Pure neurochemical bliss. The argument that you should live for now because you could be dead at any second is obscene, to me: it's more likely that you live than you die, and you're likely to be consistently happier now and in the future if you act like you'll be alive in the future. Evidence: planning for retirement. Seriously. So live for yourself, sure, but live for all of yourself. Think of yourself as a smudge on a timeline: not in one place, not just in the past, not just in the future. Optimize the smudge.

wallflower 16y ago
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." -Mahatma Gandhi
- jamesbritt 16y ago
  When I look at people who seem to have lived long, vibrant lives, people such as Frank Lloyd Wright or Georgia O'Keeffe, I see people who acted as if they expected to live forever. What stands out as a key difference between the happy and the unhappy is the belief that good, interesting, exiting things are ahead. Hell, more than half the fun of a vacation is the expectation of the fun you're going to have. (See also: certain beliefs in an afterlife.) It pains me, as I get older, to see some of my friends and family shift from being upbeat and energetic, folks who made plans for the future, to dour and nostalgic, as if everything good that might ever happen to them has already passed. Fuck that. Never stop.
  - ihodes 16y ago
    Thanks. Living only for today is living For a fraction of your life. This is what I've seen, too. Today's great, but tomorrow always can be better. I live every day, and I want to live for the rest of them.
yason 16y ago
Clichés are clichés for a reason. Yes, we have past, present, and future. But you can't change past: it's gone so in the end it's not much to live for. You can't live for future either: you can just project now into something you think would be a good future. Thus, even planning for future happens now. It is now when anything happens and where any choices are made. Past and future are important and useful, but they only exist as concepts in your mind. You can't live future or past and while trying to do so can be soothing it will never get you anywhere. In my humble opinion, it is foolish to underestimate the special position of now.
- ihodes 16y ago

k7d 16y ago

Something quite similar happened to me few years ago and I ended up with a very scary case of dysautonomia. Luckly it only lasted for couple month, but in this rather short period of time my whole perspective on live changed. It was only then when I truly started to appreciate the saying "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."

evo_9 16y ago

All We Have Is Now As logic stands you couldn't meet a man who's from the future But logic broke as he appeared he spoke about the Future "We're not gonna make it" He explained how the end will come you and me were never meant to be part of the future All we have is now All we've ever had was now All we have is now All we'll ever have is now I noticed that he had a watch in hand that looked familiar He was me - from a dimension torn free of the future "We're not gonna make it" He explained how the end will come You and me were never meant to be part of the future All we have is now All we've ever had was now All we have is now All we'll ever have is now All we have is now - The Flaming Lips http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aacl6KCaCmE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aacl6KCaCmE

mtran 16y ago

I'm convinced that being 100% present, "in the moment" for as many moments as possible is the real key to happiness. It's where the magic happens, in terms of productivity, relationships, learning, creativity... but BOY is it challenging to live that way every day!