There are things which might be under my control or should be under my control, about which I am in doubt. These are painful to consider; if they aren't truly m

There are things which might be under my control or should be under my control, about which I am in doubt. These are painful to consider; if they aren't truly my failures, then other people might consider them such. Focusing on things which are obviously not under my control seems like an instinctive displacement mechanism that's fairly generally applicable. It's futile from the perspective of actually changing anything, but serves a purpose. So I try not to tell other people to fix themselves, because it may be an illusion that they try to escape from through "silly" behavior; I'd question logically/philosophically whether anything can operate on itself.