4 ms·
It's interesting to read her experience but I can't get past a few things. > Because I was leading the expedition, I couldn’t have any physical contact with an
by analbumcover 6y ago
It's interesting to read her experience but I can't get past a few things.
> Because I was leading the expedition, I couldn’t have any physical contact with anyone else—zero. There were no handshakes, no flirting, and no hugs.
No handshakes? This behavior is so far outside the norm it's hard to believe her experience is in any way relevant to the general populace when it likely reflects her bizarrely anti-social approach to leadership. Apparently she gives lectures on leadership now? That is terrifying.
Also, as an avid alpinist, this is absolutely not the kind of person you want to be in a dangerous environment with, let alone be subordinate to. She refused to touch people and had apparently only seen the snow once before arriving in Antarctica.
- irrational 6y agoMaybe she didn’t shake hands for the same reason we no longer shake hands, to avoid catching or spreading disease. I often forget that shaking hands is no longer socially acceptable, but fortunately with two people, one of us always remembers in time.
- jedberg 6y agoThe very next sentences: "I couldn’t afford for a simple gesture of empathy, such as a hug or a placed hand on the shoulder, to be misinterpreted as a sign of romantic interest. It went against my natural desire not to comfort someone who was distraught with a big hug, but it’s what I had to do to maintain professional boundaries."
- analbumcover 6y agoI read that. Restrictions on sexual relationships given an uneven power dynamic are common, but an inability to shake someone's hand or put a hand on a shoulder? That's not maintaining professional boundaries, it's paranoia. It is also a standard that she is clearly imposing on herself, which is what makes it so bizarre. She wasn't just conforming to some overbearing rule of the organization, she thought this was a necessary component of effective leadership. Which makes me question her judgement in general.
- jedberg 6y agoAsk some women in leadership positions what they think about this. You’ll probably be surprised at how many agree with her.
- analbumcover 6y agoI wouldn't be surprised. But who is going to put up with that kind of aloof and standoffish behavior? You're probably going to come across like a monarch that doesn't want to come into contact with the common folk.
- nicthesailor 6y agoAs a female seafarer (26 years at sea), I know exactly where she's coming from. Never mind touching, the times I've sat and talked about anything other than work (non-sexual, just friendly) have invariably resulted in at least one or two crew members either taking it as an invitation to harass me or assault me, or caused friction with the rest of the crew. In my experience, I can be friendly, but I have to stay distant for safety (mine) and discipline (the whole crew).
- kharak 6y agoThanks for sharing, I can easily believe that. On a side note, how does a seafarer end up on hackernews? (I know nothing about your profession).
- nicthesailor 6y agoLol. Fair question. I got lost online one day and ended up here. I like the relative civility and thoughtfulness of the discussions, so I usually lurk. I'm also the default on-board IT support/education person, and I learn a lot here that helps me with that. I managed to get several computer-security-related changes pushed through a few ships back based on hackernews references.
- carapace 6y ago(Your username parses ambiguously: An Album Cover or Anal Bum Cover. I swear I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I can't unsee it now. I'm sorry.)
- analbumcover 6y agoYeah, that's intentional. It's a reference to an old comedy sketch.
- carapace 6y agooooooooh riiiiiiight, "Suck it Trebek!" :-) Sorry for the noise.
- watwut 6y agoI dont shake hands with colleges and have literally zero physical contact with them and they have zero physical contact with each other. I found the one person who did various physical contacts uncomfortable to be around.
- paulcole 6y ago> This behavior is so far outside the norm Bud, it’s an isolated team in Antarctica. That’s pretty far outside the norm. It is extremely likely that no touching was a requirement of her employer.
- emiliobumachar 6y agoThe handshake, in particular, is something I would now like to be permanently removed from our culture, even though the transition would be painful. When the next pandemic comes - and it shall come - we must be better prepared.