Then one day, Ms. VCP approached Mr. R&D and announced, "My sisters and I have had enough of your toxic masculinity. We demand that your sexist monopoly on rese

Then one day, Ms. VCP approached Mr. R&D and announced, "My sisters and I have had enough of your toxic masculinity. We demand that your sexist monopoly on research and development cease!" Mr. R&D pondered Ms. VCP's demand for a decade or two, then declared, "By George Eliot, I've got it! I'll simply undergo gender-reassignment surgery and adopt stereotypically feminine habits of body language and dress!" An overjoyed Ms. VCP applauded Mr. R&D's sudden embrace of his femininity, and left with a hopeful expectancy of more feminine things to come. Mr. R&D changed his, ahem, HER name to Miss Renée Diana, then began adjusting the sexual hormone levels of every primate fetus until 100,000 years later, there were but 3 sterile but very not-so-clever and starving primates left shivering in an Iberian cave. The VNCPs formed a committee, and after 6 months of heated intersectional discussion, voted on a representative to approach Miss Renée Diana with their desperate plea. "You rang?", replied Miss Renée Diana. "Um, no, I haven't a bell but have been screaming at the top of my lungs for a week, Miss RD. We three VNCPs, we're starving and cannot increase our population, nor compete against these damned hyper-evolved sea otters for food!" "How may I help you?", inquired Miss RD. "Well, I used to have a working set of ovaries and lactating breasts until the starvation kicked in. We had to eat the baby. My two pals, one of them we can't tell what sex they are because they refuse to disclose. The other one has situational erectile dysfunction because, well, we can't stand his, um, I mean their, toxic display of potential male hegemony. Please, Miss Renée Diana, we implore of you, help us increase our food supply and population!" With that, the not-so-very clever primate sat and waited for Miss RD's reply. It came 48 hours later -- astonishingly quick in historical terms, yet none too soon for the hunger-weakened VNCP. "Oh, toot-a-loo!", sang Miss Renée Diana. "Uh?", the VNCP faintly responded. "My, you look famished, poor dear. No matter. I've looked into your case and have decided that sea otters, however bipedal and adapted to your former haunts, are MUCH too adorable to allow you VNCPs to re-infest the place. Toot-a-loo!" And with that, Miss RD sashayed away with gay abandon, leaving the miserable but ideologically pure VNCPs to their fate.