I’m going to echo a few other comments on here and say that, although it may frustrate you to hear, focusing on your mental health is the urgent priority here—-

I’m going to echo a few other comments on here and say that, although it may frustrate you to hear, focusing on your mental health is the urgent priority here—-but also, thankfully, something that will have positive side-effects across many domains. As someone who has struggled seriously with self-harm in the past, this is not just a regrettable by-product of coding problems; this is a significant attempt by you/your body to regulate an environment that feels out of control, to cope with overwhelm, to distract yourself from facing something else—-ymmv, but until you work on understanding what triggers this (just coding? Other things too?), and develop tools for dealing with situations that provoke these intense feelings, this problem will re-occur in one form or another. Essentially, it’s too soon for a focus statement like “get better at leetcode” because the problem statement hasn’t been defined yet. That’s something you (and a therapist and/or workbook, online resource etc, if money is a challenge) can do together. Now the good news: not only can you address this, but doing so will have amazing and unforeseeable benefits in more areas than just coding. This stuff never fully disappears, but I can now look at a passing thought to hurt myself as a “check engine light”—-it does not have power over me, it occurs seldom, and if it does, it means something needs addressing. Best of luck.