9 ms·

I feel almost ashamed to say that I don't think I've ever read past the headline on an Onion article. They just absolutely nail the satire in that one-liner, t

I feel almost ashamed to say that I don't think I've ever read past the headline on an Onion article. They just absolutely nail the satire in that one-liner, time after time after time.

deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
TulliusCicero 6y ago
You're missing out then. What you're describing is true much of the time, but in others the content is just amazing: https://www.theonion.com/planned-parenthood-opens-8-billion-abortionplex-1819572640 https://www.theonion.com/planned-parenthood-opens-8-billion-... > "Although we've traditionally dedicated 97 percent of our resources to other important services such as contraception distribution, cancer screening, and STD testing, this new complex allows us to devote our full attention to what has always been our true passion: abortion," said Richards, standing under a banner emblazoned with Planned Parenthood's new slogan, "No Life Is Sacred."
- willturman 6y ago
  Agreed. They absolutely nail the headlines, but the content is top-notch as well. I'm regularly reminded of this one from 2013: https://www.theonion.com/jesus-this-week-1819574831 https://www.theonion.com/jesus-this-week-1819574831 > "WASHINGTON—Calling the last four days of American life just…I mean, talk about a goddamned punch in the gut, citizens across the nation confirmed today that, Jesus, this week. This fucking week, sources added. Christ."
  - nonce42 6y ago
    The Onion headline I think about regularly is from January 2001: "Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'". It was supposed to be a joke, but was prescient, promising a "Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years" and a deep recession. https://politics.theonion.com/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-prosperi-1819565882 https://politics.theonion.com/bush-our-long-national-nightma...
  - kgwxd 6y ago
    Remove the '2013' joke from the end and this could be reused a lot.
ikeyany 6y ago
As mentioned earlier, you're absolutely missing out. Some of the best satire simply cannot be effectively conveyed in a one-liner, or even text: https://www.theonion.com/in-the-know-situation-in-nigeria-seems-pretty-complex-1819594647 https://www.theonion.com/in-the-know-situation-in-nigeria-se...
bitwize 6y ago
The ONN segment about the MacBook Wheel, a MacBook with an enormous iPod wheel replacing the keyboard and trackpad, was brilliant. They really committed to the joke, with excellent prop work and even punchy Apple-esque slogans. "Reinventing the wheel" indeed. And with MacBook trackpads getting larger, and their keyboards getting smaller and more terrible, it's starting to look less like satire and more like prophecy.
bryanrasmussen 6y ago
Daddy put in bye-bye box is pretty good https://www.theonion.com/daddy-put-in-bye-bye-box-1819569708 https://www.theonion.com/daddy-put-in-bye-bye-box-1819569708

I feel almost ashamed to say that I don't think I've ever read past the headline on an Onion article. They just absolutely nail the satire in that one-liner, time after time after time.

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]

TulliusCicero 6y ago

You're missing out then. What you're describing is true much of the time, but in others the content is just amazing: https://www.theonion.com/planned-parenthood-opens-8-billion-abortionplex-1819572640 https://www.theonion.com/planned-parenthood-opens-8-billion-... > "Although we've traditionally dedicated 97 percent of our resources to other important services such as contraception distribution, cancer screening, and STD testing, this new complex allows us to devote our full attention to what has always been our true passion: abortion," said Richards, standing under a banner emblazoned with Planned Parenthood's new slogan, "No Life Is Sacred."

willturman 6y ago
Agreed. They absolutely nail the headlines, but the content is top-notch as well. I'm regularly reminded of this one from 2013: https://www.theonion.com/jesus-this-week-1819574831 https://www.theonion.com/jesus-this-week-1819574831 > "WASHINGTON—Calling the last four days of American life just…I mean, talk about a goddamned punch in the gut, citizens across the nation confirmed today that, Jesus, this week. This fucking week, sources added. Christ."
- nonce42 6y ago
  The Onion headline I think about regularly is from January 2001: "Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'". It was supposed to be a joke, but was prescient, promising a "Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years" and a deep recession. https://politics.theonion.com/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-prosperi-1819565882 https://politics.theonion.com/bush-our-long-national-nightma...
- kgwxd 6y ago
  Remove the '2013' joke from the end and this could be reused a lot.

ikeyany 6y ago

As mentioned earlier, you're absolutely missing out. Some of the best satire simply cannot be effectively conveyed in a one-liner, or even text: https://www.theonion.com/in-the-know-situation-in-nigeria-seems-pretty-complex-1819594647 https://www.theonion.com/in-the-know-situation-in-nigeria-se...

bitwize 6y ago

The ONN segment about the MacBook Wheel, a MacBook with an enormous iPod wheel replacing the keyboard and trackpad, was brilliant. They really committed to the joke, with excellent prop work and even punchy Apple-esque slogans. "Reinventing the wheel" indeed. And with MacBook trackpads getting larger, and their keyboards getting smaller and more terrible, it's starting to look less like satire and more like prophecy.

bryanrasmussen 6y ago

Daddy put in bye-bye box is pretty good https://www.theonion.com/daddy-put-in-bye-bye-box-1819569708 https://www.theonion.com/daddy-put-in-bye-bye-box-1819569708