3 ms·

> I don't wish to work with self-identified transgender people due to this anymore. They take everything so personal even if its not about them. > And just for

> I don't wish to work with self-identified transgender people due to this anymore. They take everything so personal even if its not about them. > And just for saying this, same people will accuse me of hating trans people and rejecting their right to exist. I mean, what you posted is a textbook example of transphobia, no matter how light it may be. I've worked with many trans people and have many trans friends, none of them have gotten angry when I've had to ask for their pronouns if I can't remember or need clarification.

blueflow 6y ago
Did you read my second paragraph?
- fzeroracer 6y ago
  Yes, I did. It doesn't change anything. It's still transphobic to lump them together and then attempt to justify your attempt to avoid them on your perceived notions. As a thought exercise, if you were to change your argument to be one about race, it would be a racist thing to say 'I don't wish to work with black people because they take things so personal'.
  - blueflow 6y ago
    You probably missed what i meant with "self-identified", in context of an online community. A better analogy than the one you provided: If someone comes to an online community and announces that they are cisgendered and must be referred in way X, i don't want to work with them, either. This isn't a question of gender, race or sexuality. Its a question about not being self-absorbed prick that forces everyone around them to walk on eggshells. Experiencing gender dysphoria is a driving force for engaging in this kind of behavior, this is why my complaint is focused on these few trans people.
    - fzeroracer 6y ago
      > If someone comes to an online community and announces that they are cisgendered and must be referred in way X, i don't want to work with them, either. This literally happens all of the time, though? It's the 'default'. If you called a cisgendered man 'she' or a cisgendered woman 'he', they would likely politely correct you in the same way anyone else would. The only way you'd avoid that is by collectively referring to everyone in gender neutral pronouns which is certainly possible. > Experiencing gender dysphoria is a driving force for engaging in this kind of behavior, this is why my complaint is focused on these few trans people. And this is objectively wrong. People experiencing gender dysphoria is not a driving force in engaging in this kind of behavior (ie what you call 'taking everything so personal') considering, again, I have friends who have dealt with such issues and do not behave in the way you claim. It really sounds like you're stretching your argument in attempt to justify your own transphobia. At best you're unfairly stereotyping them based on your own experiences and at worst you're behaving in an irrational manner by attempting to avoid them because you seem to think of them being 'self-absorbed pricks'. You're essentially arguing that people should shut up and not mention who they are at all.
      - blueflow 6y ago
        > This literally happens all of the time, though? It's the 'default'. No. Our conversation is a good example of that. The default is to state your business, not your sexual identity or race. Normal people don't want to be judged by their skin color or sexuality or things like that, this is why they don't lay it out. Stop taking sexual identity so seriously - its not central to anything. > People experiencing gender dysphoria is not a driving force in engaging in this kind of behavior I say, craving validation is the connecting factor. If you have different experiences with that, so it be. > I have friends who have dealt with such issues and do not behave in the way you claim. No one of the trans people i had relationships with acted in this way, either. But in online communities around open source software, there are always a few black sheep that turn really emotional if you accidentally don't "respect their identity", and this includes alot of otherwise innocent behavior.
        fzeroracer 6y ago
    - coffeeling 6y ago
      I think I love you.
      - blueflow 6y ago
        Thanks, but i don't wish for fanboys or a cult around my person.

blueflow 6y ago

Did you read my second paragraph?

fzeroracer 6y ago
Yes, I did. It doesn't change anything. It's still transphobic to lump them together and then attempt to justify your attempt to avoid them on your perceived notions. As a thought exercise, if you were to change your argument to be one about race, it would be a racist thing to say 'I don't wish to work with black people because they take things so personal'.
- blueflow 6y ago
  You probably missed what i meant with "self-identified", in context of an online community. A better analogy than the one you provided: If someone comes to an online community and announces that they are cisgendered and must be referred in way X, i don't want to work with them, either. This isn't a question of gender, race or sexuality. Its a question about not being self-absorbed prick that forces everyone around them to walk on eggshells. Experiencing gender dysphoria is a driving force for engaging in this kind of behavior, this is why my complaint is focused on these few trans people.
  - fzeroracer 6y ago
    > If someone comes to an online community and announces that they are cisgendered and must be referred in way X, i don't want to work with them, either. This literally happens all of the time, though? It's the 'default'. If you called a cisgendered man 'she' or a cisgendered woman 'he', they would likely politely correct you in the same way anyone else would. The only way you'd avoid that is by collectively referring to everyone in gender neutral pronouns which is certainly possible. > Experiencing gender dysphoria is a driving force for engaging in this kind of behavior, this is why my complaint is focused on these few trans people. And this is objectively wrong. People experiencing gender dysphoria is not a driving force in engaging in this kind of behavior (ie what you call 'taking everything so personal') considering, again, I have friends who have dealt with such issues and do not behave in the way you claim. It really sounds like you're stretching your argument in attempt to justify your own transphobia. At best you're unfairly stereotyping them based on your own experiences and at worst you're behaving in an irrational manner by attempting to avoid them because you seem to think of them being 'self-absorbed pricks'. You're essentially arguing that people should shut up and not mention who they are at all.
    - blueflow 6y ago
      > This literally happens all of the time, though? It's the 'default'. No. Our conversation is a good example of that. The default is to state your business, not your sexual identity or race. Normal people don't want to be judged by their skin color or sexuality or things like that, this is why they don't lay it out. Stop taking sexual identity so seriously - its not central to anything. > People experiencing gender dysphoria is not a driving force in engaging in this kind of behavior I say, craving validation is the connecting factor. If you have different experiences with that, so it be. > I have friends who have dealt with such issues and do not behave in the way you claim. No one of the trans people i had relationships with acted in this way, either. But in online communities around open source software, there are always a few black sheep that turn really emotional if you accidentally don't "respect their identity", and this includes alot of otherwise innocent behavior.
      - fzeroracer 6y ago
  - coffeeling 6y ago
    I think I love you.
    - blueflow 6y ago
      Thanks, but i don't wish for fanboys or a cult around my person.