> I'm not saying any of this was easy, but I do think there's a self-defeating element to believing what the parent does. Totally agree, if you start off think

> I'm not saying any of this was easy, but I do think there's a self-defeating element to believing what the parent does. Totally agree, if you start off thinking that it's hard to make friends with foreigners, it might discourage you and causing you to not even try. That being said, pretending the barrier doesn't exist is also harmful, because you do need to try harder. Without that expectation and conscious effort, most people naturally gravitate towards their existing in-group, which may be drawn along not just racial lines, but also regional, political, class, or any other lines that causes difference. Edit: different groups are also treated differently, because they benefit or suffer from different stereotypes. A white American living in Asia will have very different experience than an Asian person living in US.