It seems like you're very self aware and also self centered. Read exactly what you wrote out loud and record yourself. Then play it back. Ask yourself then i

It seems like you're very self aware and also self centered. Read exactly what you wrote out loud and record yourself. Then play it back. Ask yourself then if this is a person you could establish a friendship with. We as a society have become increasingly self-centered and our friendships/relationships have become very thin and hollow. I don't think most people have the self evaluation skills you seem to possess. If the actions you're taking don't lead to the outcomes you desire then you must change your actions. That's a simple statement that's difficult to achieve. I would suggest finding a therapist may help you understand and view what changes could be made. Life is about balance, you must give and receive in a friendship. They cannot be your friend solely on your terms. If you want that kind of friend, generally you pay them and you're left with a hollow friendship. In general if you be the friend you want, and you make yourself available in social situations you'll find friends.