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I've been spending a lot of time alone lately. Partially because of COVID, and partially because I have "suddenly" become single. Sitting alone when emotions a

by all2 6y ago

I've been spending a lot of time alone lately. Partially because of COVID, and partially because I have "suddenly" become single. Sitting alone when emotions are running is so hard. I've spent a large portion of my life trying not to get trapped in the background noise of TV or headphones or social media. And now all I want is to run into those things. I understand avoiding those emotions is unhealthy. But being alone can hurt. A lot.

telesilla 6y ago
There are good online services where you can find someone to talk to. I'll go look for links I've used or recommended in the past and write back shortly. I hope things are ok with you.
- all2 6y ago
  I am well enough. I have family and a few new friends I talk to on a regular basis. I pray almost constantly now. I've changed and grown a lot, so the pain has not been useless.
globular-toast 6y ago
When you fall over and graze your knee it hurts. But it heals. The brain is no different. You just have to give it time to heal. The good thing is you'll also come out stronger. You'll be better equipped for the next time someone hurts you, which is good because people are generally selfish and will hurt you. You can find communities of men online who will help you more.
the_cramer 6y ago
Same situation for me. I am single for a long time but recently many friends also break up contact more or less. They are founding families, building houses. I cannot really blame them. I am alone at home very often, most of the times it is okay, i don't really need someone in these times for talking and such. I'm not the big talker anyways. But there are some moments, especially in the evening, where the loneliness is just crushing. I always try to find a logical reason for this. In these moments i do not really feel the need for talking or meeting someone. It's a kind of fear to miss something because of the lack of friends. I'm for sure it's highly irrational and to this day I didn't find a definitve answer. Another observation i made is that these feelings are stronger when i'm hungry or thirsty. Sometimes, if i feel lonely i eat (i'm a twig, no worries). It seems to produce forgetti stuff in the body and the worries often go away. Browsing social media and stuff has the opposite effect. It raises the question "Why are the others having fun and friends and stuff?" Wouldn't recommend that (subjective) I'm sure there is a chemical explanation for all this, or an evolutionary, but for all ppl that feel like this: get your pizza! Of course this is all referring to the "negative" type of loneliness. There is another type which we may crave: "I want to go on top of that lonely mountain with nobody around me", "Let's go into the forest where no humans are going onto my nerves". This selective loneliness is a good one and should be looked for from time to time.
- jakub_g 6y ago
  Can relate to most of things above. BTW: re: food, it's been well-studied that what the balance of gut bacteria heavily influences one's mood: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/gut-feelings-how-food-affects-your-mood-2018120715548 https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/gut-feelings-how-food-af...

by all2 6y ago

telesilla 6y ago

There are good online services where you can find someone to talk to. I'll go look for links I've used or recommended in the past and write back shortly. I hope things are ok with you.

all2 6y ago
I am well enough. I have family and a few new friends I talk to on a regular basis. I pray almost constantly now. I've changed and grown a lot, so the pain has not been useless.

globular-toast 6y ago

When you fall over and graze your knee it hurts. But it heals. The brain is no different. You just have to give it time to heal. The good thing is you'll also come out stronger. You'll be better equipped for the next time someone hurts you, which is good because people are generally selfish and will hurt you. You can find communities of men online who will help you more.

the_cramer 6y ago

Same situation for me. I am single for a long time but recently many friends also break up contact more or less. They are founding families, building houses. I cannot really blame them. I am alone at home very often, most of the times it is okay, i don't really need someone in these times for talking and such. I'm not the big talker anyways. But there are some moments, especially in the evening, where the loneliness is just crushing. I always try to find a logical reason for this. In these moments i do not really feel the need for talking or meeting someone. It's a kind of fear to miss something because of the lack of friends. I'm for sure it's highly irrational and to this day I didn't find a definitve answer. Another observation i made is that these feelings are stronger when i'm hungry or thirsty. Sometimes, if i feel lonely i eat (i'm a twig, no worries). It seems to produce forgetti stuff in the body and the worries often go away. Browsing social media and stuff has the opposite effect. It raises the question "Why are the others having fun and friends and stuff?" Wouldn't recommend that (subjective) I'm sure there is a chemical explanation for all this, or an evolutionary, but for all ppl that feel like this: get your pizza! Of course this is all referring to the "negative" type of loneliness. There is another type which we may crave: "I want to go on top of that lonely mountain with nobody around me", "Let's go into the forest where no humans are going onto my nerves". This selective loneliness is a good one and should be looked for from time to time.

jakub_g 6y ago
Can relate to most of things above. BTW: re: food, it's been well-studied that what the balance of gut bacteria heavily influences one's mood: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/gut-feelings-how-food-affects-your-mood-2018120715548 https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/gut-feelings-how-food-af...