3 ms·

Feeling confused about the thing I'm working on, but not taking the time to really understand it because: 1. I have so many years of people telling me that I'm

Feeling confused about the thing I'm working on, but not taking the time to really understand it because: 1. I have so many years of people telling me that I'm "overthinking things" or "trying to understand the universe" 2. I'm behind-schedule on the task, as usual. 3. I'm worried about getting fired again. I'll watch talks like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAQ6t3F_2Ug&t=800s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAQ6t3F_2Ug&t=800s and think "Yes! I'd like to live in that world. To have a mental model of the world and be writing code to refine that." I just wish that when I was utterly confused, I could put my foot down and say "No. I'm going go draw some diagrams and ask questions and understand what is going on here. My questions are reasonable and relevant." and draw out a flawed-but-coherent mental model. But that's not realistic -- not until I have a reputation for actually delivering at pace. Someday I hope to be productive enough that I can have the political capital to buy myself the time understand what I'm working on as I go. But that is probably as unrealistic a pipe dream as becoming a father. I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep...

bryanmillstein 6y ago
This sounds stressful. I'm sorry you are not in an environment where you can take your time and ask these important questions. Keep going. Your questions are reasonable and relevant. Understanding the "why" of what you are doing is crucial. It may seem like a hopeless effort but it will get easier. The better you understand a problem the better you will be able to solve it. It may be slow in the beginning but your confidence will build over time and people will begin to appreciate your thoughtful questions. You sound like a curious person. I'm reminded of the most curious person I've read, Richard Feynman. He relentlessly asked questions and sought true understanding at a fundamental level. If you haven't read his book "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!", you should. It's wonderfully entertaining and will perhaps encourage you to keep asking your questions.

bryanmillstein 6y ago

This sounds stressful. I'm sorry you are not in an environment where you can take your time and ask these important questions. Keep going. Your questions are reasonable and relevant. Understanding the "why" of what you are doing is crucial. It may seem like a hopeless effort but it will get easier. The better you understand a problem the better you will be able to solve it. It may be slow in the beginning but your confidence will build over time and people will begin to appreciate your thoughtful questions. You sound like a curious person. I'm reminded of the most curious person I've read, Richard Feynman. He relentlessly asked questions and sought true understanding at a fundamental level. If you haven't read his book "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!", you should. It's wonderfully entertaining and will perhaps encourage you to keep asking your questions.