5 ms·

I wasn't there, but this sounds more like cluelessness than anything else. I could imagine making small talk like this to keep someone's mind off of their pain

I wasn't there, but this sounds more like cluelessness than anything else. I could imagine making small talk like this to keep someone's mind off of their pain or anxieties. Did it really seem like the gal or guy was hating on you?

noncoml 6y ago
I get asked where I am from all the time, because of my strange accent. However I've never before been asked about what visa I came in on. The way he talked about the Visas, gave me the impression of someone who has been conditioned to believe that "those Visas" are evil. Or maybe I completely misread it, and he was just trying to make conversation as you said, to calm me down. But choosing the Visa subject seemed quite odd. Usually when I mention my home country people chose a subject like history, mythology, holidays or current affairs.
- downerending 6y ago
  So again, I wasn't there. I will say, having grown up in the sticks, I love hearing the accents of foreign people and sometimes ask them about theirs. I know they might take it wrong, but it's hard to resist doing so. And indeed, when I see someone in pain or anxiety, I'm often tempted to just make small talk on any subject I can think of, to distract them. I usually don't, to avoid offense. But I think they'd suffer less if I did, no matter how stupid my words.
  - noncoml 6y ago
    I never get offended when I am asked. Why would I? It’s natural curiosity IMHO. And actually makes small talk easier as it’s a subject I know and can chat about :) But I don’t know, if I told you I was from Greece, would my visa be the first think that would pop into your mind for small talk?
    - downerending 6y ago
      Speaking just for myself, I often end up saying rather stupid things when thinking on my feet. On the other hand, yeah, the could simply have been a jackass. Greeks, though? Who doesn't love the Greeks? The Turks, I guess, but in America, I think they are well-regarded.
      - noncoml 6y ago
        :) thank you

noncoml 6y ago

I get asked where I am from all the time, because of my strange accent. However I've never before been asked about what visa I came in on. The way he talked about the Visas, gave me the impression of someone who has been conditioned to believe that "those Visas" are evil. Or maybe I completely misread it, and he was just trying to make conversation as you said, to calm me down. But choosing the Visa subject seemed quite odd. Usually when I mention my home country people chose a subject like history, mythology, holidays or current affairs.

downerending 6y ago
So again, I wasn't there. I will say, having grown up in the sticks, I love hearing the accents of foreign people and sometimes ask them about theirs. I know they might take it wrong, but it's hard to resist doing so. And indeed, when I see someone in pain or anxiety, I'm often tempted to just make small talk on any subject I can think of, to distract them. I usually don't, to avoid offense. But I think they'd suffer less if I did, no matter how stupid my words.
- noncoml 6y ago
  I never get offended when I am asked. Why would I? It’s natural curiosity IMHO. And actually makes small talk easier as it’s a subject I know and can chat about :) But I don’t know, if I told you I was from Greece, would my visa be the first think that would pop into your mind for small talk?
  - downerending 6y ago
    Speaking just for myself, I often end up saying rather stupid things when thinking on my feet. On the other hand, yeah, the could simply have been a jackass. Greeks, though? Who doesn't love the Greeks? The Turks, I guess, but in America, I think they are well-regarded.
    - noncoml 6y ago
      :) thank you