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I'm going to argue that it wasn't team sports, it was the infrequency with which you played them that caused the negativity. Working as a team is part of the h

I'm going to argue that it wasn't team sports, it was the infrequency with which you played them that caused the negativity. Working as a team is part of the human experience. Some people are more inclined to it than others, but given enough time and frequency working with the same unit, almost everyone becomes a comrade, a brother-in-arms, bonded through shared experiences. Team sports help develop social bonds and trust between peers, and those relationships help quite a few people deal with personal issues they would otherwise get stuck in their own heads trying to fight. Teamwork and working towards goals bigger than oneself are important to the psyche.

fiblye 6y ago
I’ve always hated sports. No matter how much I tried, I was horrible. All my school stress stemmed from PE and sports, and with how much of a focus “coolness” in school stems from sports performance, pressure simply grew and grew until I finally graduated. After graduating, I actively rejected sports and fitness because I associated it with the people who were good and I hated to be around, and it was nothing but negative connections in my mind. It wasn’t until a friend introduced me to weightlifting that I learned that I can not only enjoy exercise, but I can do it completely alone without anybody looking at me. A weight set and a bench to sit on are as close to meditation as exercise can get for me. I’m stronger than the average person. Visibly fit to the point that people comment on it. But every time someone has expected me to catch something or throw something to them, it’s a disaster. People can’t believe it because there’s the association of fitness level == sports ability, but there’s as connected as math and programming. It’s definitely good to be good at both and they definitely benefit each other, but you can also be incompetent at one and good at the other. I’ve definitely known some people who’ve never cared about basketball and don’t really exercise but almost never miss a shot if someone asks them to try.
- huffmsa 6y ago
  Some people are naturally good throwers and catchers, some need practice (myself). I've said it in other comments, but PE class is skewed towards those who can do well in random, infrequent "games". That's not the same as playing the same sport, with a team, every morning or afternoon.
- a-nikolaev 6y ago
  This is a great story. On my part, I enjoyed playing soccer with my friends when I was a kid: We didn't have to perform or run fast, but we just did our best, and it was fun and fulfilling. On the other hand, our PE classes were often bland and not very fun: running, pull ups, push ups, occasionally basketball, which I struggled with a lot. (It was not in the US, so no one was getting much social benefits from being good at sports. But I see why your experience with school PE and sports feels so devastating.)
watwut 6y ago
> I'm going to argue that it wasn't team sports, it was the infrequency with which you played them that caused the negativity I am not the one you responded to, but I very much disliked team sports. I liked individual sports, including the ones I was bad at. Other kids did not became comrades in team sport, kids that did same individual sport became friends. I was the kid that had trouble to be assertive and had trouble to fight over ball with teammates. Because other kids in same team wont give the ball to someone else when they have fun with it. They want it for themselves, even when you are at good position. Team sports just sucked from social standpoint. The only shared experience always ended up being feeling that I don't belong here. The only thing I learned was to avoid the experience. It did worked for some other kids, but don't tell us it works for everyone. It does not.
kingkongjaffa 6y ago
>it was the infrequency with which you played them that >caused the negativity. At UK highschool we were forced to play football once / twice a week. All the kids who wanted to do this also played more through the week so they were good at it. The once/twice a week-ers were rubbish and it was just not fun. >but given enough time and frequency working with the same >unit, almost everyone becomes a comrade, a brother-in-arms, >bonded through shared experiences. This is complete bullshit, you've obviously never had players on the team screaming at you to do something with the ball and then messing it up. These kids are not your 'comrades' they play with you once or twice a week then go back to class. >Team sports help develop social bonds and trust between >peers, and those relationships help quite a few people deal >with personal issues they would otherwise get stuck in >their own heads trying to fight. Teamwork and working >towards goals bigger than oneself are important to the >psyche. You can do all of this without team sports.

fiblye 6y ago

I’ve always hated sports. No matter how much I tried, I was horrible. All my school stress stemmed from PE and sports, and with how much of a focus “coolness” in school stems from sports performance, pressure simply grew and grew until I finally graduated. After graduating, I actively rejected sports and fitness because I associated it with the people who were good and I hated to be around, and it was nothing but negative connections in my mind. It wasn’t until a friend introduced me to weightlifting that I learned that I can not only enjoy exercise, but I can do it completely alone without anybody looking at me. A weight set and a bench to sit on are as close to meditation as exercise can get for me. I’m stronger than the average person. Visibly fit to the point that people comment on it. But every time someone has expected me to catch something or throw something to them, it’s a disaster. People can’t believe it because there’s the association of fitness level == sports ability, but there’s as connected as math and programming. It’s definitely good to be good at both and they definitely benefit each other, but you can also be incompetent at one and good at the other. I’ve definitely known some people who’ve never cared about basketball and don’t really exercise but almost never miss a shot if someone asks them to try.

huffmsa 6y ago
Some people are naturally good throwers and catchers, some need practice (myself). I've said it in other comments, but PE class is skewed towards those who can do well in random, infrequent "games". That's not the same as playing the same sport, with a team, every morning or afternoon.
a-nikolaev 6y ago
This is a great story. On my part, I enjoyed playing soccer with my friends when I was a kid: We didn't have to perform or run fast, but we just did our best, and it was fun and fulfilling. On the other hand, our PE classes were often bland and not very fun: running, pull ups, push ups, occasionally basketball, which I struggled with a lot. (It was not in the US, so no one was getting much social benefits from being good at sports. But I see why your experience with school PE and sports feels so devastating.)

watwut 6y ago

> I'm going to argue that it wasn't team sports, it was the infrequency with which you played them that caused the negativity I am not the one you responded to, but I very much disliked team sports. I liked individual sports, including the ones I was bad at. Other kids did not became comrades in team sport, kids that did same individual sport became friends. I was the kid that had trouble to be assertive and had trouble to fight over ball with teammates. Because other kids in same team wont give the ball to someone else when they have fun with it. They want it for themselves, even when you are at good position. Team sports just sucked from social standpoint. The only shared experience always ended up being feeling that I don't belong here. The only thing I learned was to avoid the experience. It did worked for some other kids, but don't tell us it works for everyone. It does not.

kingkongjaffa 6y ago

>it was the infrequency with which you played them that >caused the negativity. At UK highschool we were forced to play football once / twice a week. All the kids who wanted to do this also played more through the week so they were good at it. The once/twice a week-ers were rubbish and it was just not fun. >but given enough time and frequency working with the same >unit, almost everyone becomes a comrade, a brother-in-arms, >bonded through shared experiences. This is complete bullshit, you've obviously never had players on the team screaming at you to do something with the ball and then messing it up. These kids are not your 'comrades' they play with you once or twice a week then go back to class. >Team sports help develop social bonds and trust between >peers, and those relationships help quite a few people deal >with personal issues they would otherwise get stuck in >their own heads trying to fight. Teamwork and working >towards goals bigger than oneself are important to the >psyche. You can do all of this without team sports.