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There's a big difference. You can fake it 'till you make it. This is an option when it's "invisible". With color, that's simply not an option unless you go the

by loopz 6y ago

There's a big difference. You can fake it 'till you make it. This is an option when it's "invisible". With color, that's simply not an option unless you go the Michael Jackson route.

thanatropism 6y ago
I know there's a big difference. I was kind of rambling about my own experiences. (I was advised by the moderator team -- I think -- that the rest of this comment had racially inflammatory flavors. I'm not at all in agreement -- I think people are minimizing the experience of mental illness and assuming by transitivity that I minimize the black experience. But I trust in HN's crack team of moderators. There's an... inflamed, that's probably the best word, political climate in the USA right now, and while we get American news, I don't have the lived experience to know when "being right on the internet" gets folks who are living it enraged. I want to say "either way I don't care" without sounding dismissive and arrogantly aloof. But in a calm, detached, Alan Watts kind of way, I don't. Stay cool, folks.)
- x86_64Ubuntu 6y ago
  >...Getting absorbed in an identity is a trap What? Is that what you chalk all this up to? Black folks being "absorbed" into identity?
- klyrs 6y ago
  > And this is a trap! Getting absorbed in an identity is a trap. As a white transwoman, I experience different micro/macroagressions from black people, and they suffer indignities that I can only understand second-hand. But lemme tell you, I've seen some shit. I personally face a lot of harrassment from the general public, on the basis of the "identity" that you accuse me of getting absorbed in. But it's not me who chooses the verbal assaults, the clearly obvious avoidance behavior, the implicit assumption that I don't know anything relevant (hiiii, math doctorate with decades of high performance computing experience, here...), et cetera. It's our society, that gets stuck on our identities. And it's not just "general public" -- it's too many coworkers; it's any time I go to a conference; it's every time I apply for a job. Unlike a black person, I didn't grow up with this. That gave me a significant advantage early in life, but I didn't develop the emotional skill to be resilient in the face of endless bullshit from people who are absorbed with my identity. I have decades of experience of privilege, and I know exactly what I've lost there. And you and me have something in common: I experience depression and anxiety. Did before I came out as trans, too. Social isolation due to people deliberately or unconsciously avoiding went way up -- and with it, depression. Verbal assaults and sexual harrassment in public went way up, and with it, anxiety. Combine an invisible disability with a visible minority, and it ratchets up the bullshit. Yeah, the author of this article has financial privilege I'll never attain... but the problem isn't that he's stuck on his identity, the problem is that everybody he meets is stuck on his identity.
- loopz 6y ago
  It's not about right or wrong. Having a mental disability, or some invisible issues, can make life hell on multiple levels. It's just not comparable to being discriminated against based on ethnicity or gender. It's a silly comparison and different for each person, encounter, moment, and may be experienced "better or worse". It should be cool to be yourself, but very hard when stonewalled every moment due to prejudice. Some, or even most wins, need to be for others first.
rovolo 6y ago
JFYI on color, Michael Jackson had vitiligo; patches of his skin were whitening on their own. He would use makeup to even out his skin color though. He also wore long sleeves and the single glove to cover up the patchy skin coloration.

by loopz 6y ago

There's a big difference. You can fake it 'till you make it. This is an option when it's "invisible". With color, that's simply not an option unless you go the Michael Jackson route.

thanatropism 6y ago

I know there's a big difference. I was kind of rambling about my own experiences. (I was advised by the moderator team -- I think -- that the rest of this comment had racially inflammatory flavors. I'm not at all in agreement -- I think people are minimizing the experience of mental illness and assuming by transitivity that I minimize the black experience. But I trust in HN's crack team of moderators. There's an... inflamed, that's probably the best word, political climate in the USA right now, and while we get American news, I don't have the lived experience to know when "being right on the internet" gets folks who are living it enraged. I want to say "either way I don't care" without sounding dismissive and arrogantly aloof. But in a calm, detached, Alan Watts kind of way, I don't. Stay cool, folks.)

x86_64Ubuntu 6y ago
>...Getting absorbed in an identity is a trap What? Is that what you chalk all this up to? Black folks being "absorbed" into identity?
klyrs 6y ago
> And this is a trap! Getting absorbed in an identity is a trap. As a white transwoman, I experience different micro/macroagressions from black people, and they suffer indignities that I can only understand second-hand. But lemme tell you, I've seen some shit. I personally face a lot of harrassment from the general public, on the basis of the "identity" that you accuse me of getting absorbed in. But it's not me who chooses the verbal assaults, the clearly obvious avoidance behavior, the implicit assumption that I don't know anything relevant (hiiii, math doctorate with decades of high performance computing experience, here...), et cetera. It's our society, that gets stuck on our identities. And it's not just "general public" -- it's too many coworkers; it's any time I go to a conference; it's every time I apply for a job. Unlike a black person, I didn't grow up with this. That gave me a significant advantage early in life, but I didn't develop the emotional skill to be resilient in the face of endless bullshit from people who are absorbed with my identity. I have decades of experience of privilege, and I know exactly what I've lost there. And you and me have something in common: I experience depression and anxiety. Did before I came out as trans, too. Social isolation due to people deliberately or unconsciously avoiding went way up -- and with it, depression. Verbal assaults and sexual harrassment in public went way up, and with it, anxiety. Combine an invisible disability with a visible minority, and it ratchets up the bullshit. Yeah, the author of this article has financial privilege I'll never attain... but the problem isn't that he's stuck on his identity, the problem is that everybody he meets is stuck on his identity.
loopz 6y ago
It's not about right or wrong. Having a mental disability, or some invisible issues, can make life hell on multiple levels. It's just not comparable to being discriminated against based on ethnicity or gender. It's a silly comparison and different for each person, encounter, moment, and may be experienced "better or worse". It should be cool to be yourself, but very hard when stonewalled every moment due to prejudice. Some, or even most wins, need to be for others first.

rovolo 6y ago

JFYI on color, Michael Jackson had vitiligo; patches of his skin were whitening on their own. He would use makeup to even out his skin color though. He also wore long sleeves and the single glove to cover up the patchy skin coloration.