Ah, ok, I've removed the first paragraph as I was being too defensive and it didn't really add anything. I've been personally struggling with this for decades,

Ah, ok, I've removed the first paragraph as I was being too defensive and it didn't really add anything. I've been personally struggling with this for decades, I've found solutions that work for months, or even sometimes years and had long periods of effective productivity. But they all seem to eventually get forgotten and then don't work the 2nd time round. It's very frustrating. It's funny as I can easily work hard for other people and clients, etc.