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I'm unqualified to determine whether or not sexuality is a choice so please do not interpret this comment as making any claims one way or another. That said, y

I'm unqualified to determine whether or not sexuality is a choice so please do not interpret this comment as making any claims one way or another. That said, your comment implies that it is not possible for someone to hate themselves for decisions they've made and it implies that if sexuality is a choice it would be simple to change. As far as I understand sexuality is a core part of most people's identity and so, hypothetically, changing one's sexuality would be a long process of teaching the brain to treat sexuality differently. (Which would never pass an ethics board, so we may never know.)

djaque 6y ago
It sounds like you are saying that some people choose to be gay when they are younger and then let it become so much a part of themselves that they can not change it later in life I was ten or eleven when I first noticed that I was attracted to my male friends. I had no idea what "gay" was, but I knew that I didn't want to be it and I hid it. I felt so much shame over my attraction that I dated women, tried to force myself to be "normal", and was generally in denial for basically the next decade. I was in my twenties when I finally started to be OK with who I am. I am also not stereotypically gay and if you met me, you'd probably never guess that I have a boyfriend. Most of the gay guys I know are like me in that regard. The reason people still associate gay people with stereotypes is that when you have been taught that gay people look and act a certain way, you'll never register that people like me are gay. My point is that I never built an identity around my big secret. I never made a choice and then wanted to back out of it. I just started to be attracted to men instead of women and I was taught to hate myself for it. This is something that has been echoed to me by effectively all of my friends.

djaque 6y ago

It sounds like you are saying that some people choose to be gay when they are younger and then let it become so much a part of themselves that they can not change it later in life I was ten or eleven when I first noticed that I was attracted to my male friends. I had no idea what "gay" was, but I knew that I didn't want to be it and I hid it. I felt so much shame over my attraction that I dated women, tried to force myself to be "normal", and was generally in denial for basically the next decade. I was in my twenties when I finally started to be OK with who I am. I am also not stereotypically gay and if you met me, you'd probably never guess that I have a boyfriend. Most of the gay guys I know are like me in that regard. The reason people still associate gay people with stereotypes is that when you have been taught that gay people look and act a certain way, you'll never register that people like me are gay. My point is that I never built an identity around my big secret. I never made a choice and then wanted to back out of it. I just started to be attracted to men instead of women and I was taught to hate myself for it. This is something that has been echoed to me by effectively all of my friends.