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My wife works with both men and women to fix their problems with finding a good relationship, and what you describe is the most common way of thinking among tho

My wife works with both men and women to fix their problems with finding a good relationship, and what you describe is the most common way of thinking among those men. Most of them are too stubborn to deviate from "they just have to accept me the way I am". Seriously, getting a nice haircut, dressing nicely, grooming yourself and smelling good has nothing to do with your personality. In this sense, men have it way easier than women, because men can influence their chances significantly without much effort. And that doesn't mean "fake", it means presenting yourself. It's pretty simple basically, if you want a woman to pick you, you have to offer her something. And the same will be true for the women, who you will expect to offer you something.

geodel 6y ago
I mean what you say sounds pretty reasonable. I wonder it also sound reasonable if I say "Well black men have it really easy, they have great skin tone and better physique than average. All they have to do is to not dress like punk or wear hoodies and have hair cut short so they don't have run in with police often"
- cosmodisk 6y ago
  There is an element of truth in this- just remove the word 'black' from your comment,as it's not necessary: I see a lot of young adults(I was one of them some years ago), who dress and behave in public in a way that it almost guarantees unnecessary attention(not in a good way), including from police. Dress like a normal person,not like some low life drug dealer,who spent 10 years on heroin, drop the idiotic language -'oi bruv' and so on and suddenly life becomes better. Even the hardcore criminals were fast to realise that it's much better to wear a suit and a tie than a tracksuit and and a hoody.
- koonsolo 6y ago
  I thought this was about dating? Anyway, colored men (mainly indian guys in my wife's practice) significantly increase their attractiveness by dressing nice and well groomed, so same rules apply. But what I get from your explanation is that it's all the womens fault of not looking past that. Well maybe it's time for you to face reality.

geodel 6y ago

I mean what you say sounds pretty reasonable. I wonder it also sound reasonable if I say "Well black men have it really easy, they have great skin tone and better physique than average. All they have to do is to not dress like punk or wear hoodies and have hair cut short so they don't have run in with police often"

cosmodisk 6y ago
There is an element of truth in this- just remove the word 'black' from your comment,as it's not necessary: I see a lot of young adults(I was one of them some years ago), who dress and behave in public in a way that it almost guarantees unnecessary attention(not in a good way), including from police. Dress like a normal person,not like some low life drug dealer,who spent 10 years on heroin, drop the idiotic language -'oi bruv' and so on and suddenly life becomes better. Even the hardcore criminals were fast to realise that it's much better to wear a suit and a tie than a tracksuit and and a hoody.
koonsolo 6y ago
I thought this was about dating? Anyway, colored men (mainly indian guys in my wife's practice) significantly increase their attractiveness by dressing nice and well groomed, so same rules apply. But what I get from your explanation is that it's all the womens fault of not looking past that. Well maybe it's time for you to face reality.