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I'm glad you brought up the friend-zone thing. I feel like I'm extremely good at all the things you listed before that, and I have a ton of female friends (whic

I'm glad you brought up the friend-zone thing. I feel like I'm extremely good at all the things you listed before that, and I have a ton of female friends (which I love, don't get me wrong). I just have no idea to turn that into sex.

tonystubblebine 6y ago
Great. I guarantee you are 100x closer to figuring out your love life than anyone here talking about wealth, looks or status. I don't want to be a love coach. But how are you with making an ask? Do you ever use clear language like, "Would you like to go on a date?" or if you're on a date, "Would you like to hold hands?" "Can I kiss you?" She's on a date for a reason too. And if the answer is no, then congratulations on sorting a person from the unknown bucket into the no-romantic-interest bucket. If they say no, accept the answer respectfully and move on.
- dingaling 6y ago
  > But how are you with making an ask? Sure, encourage him. But also coach him for the inevitable "I don't think of you like that" response. Extra points if she adds "you're too good a friend". Categorisation into the Friend Zone happens within minutes of first meeting. There's no way out of that box.
  - tonystubblebine 6y ago
    A lot of people in this thread are talking about impossible standards of wealth and looks and being in the top 20% of men or higher. But not enough people are talking about this standard. Can you ask a woman out without making her feel scared? I think your fear often comes across as dangerous. So, ok, fine. Asking women out is scary. I was young, I remember that. But if you never ask anyone out what are you really complaining about. And if all you ever did was ask one person out, get rejected, and then you've been sulking about it every since, that's not any better. Hard is not the same thing as impossible. Hundreds of millions of men have figured this out.
shuntress 6y ago
>I just have no idea to turn that into sex. This seems indicative of the exact line of thinking the parent comment notes does not typically work. >"I'm laughing at her jokes because I hope that will make her sleep with me."
Debugreality 6y ago
Realise there is often a fine line between friends and friends with benefits. My advise would be let them know you find them attractive like offering compliments. Occasionally make a move to get closer, massage, touching etc. Spend time with them. It is likely they will be in the mood sooner or later and you will be the most convenient option. Basically let them know your interested and ask. If you don't ask you won't get anything. But keep it light and occasional. And remember people can change their mind - so its ok to ask more than once.
- tonystubblebine 6y ago
  Also consider communication tactics to let them know you find them attractive like vocalizing the words, "I find you attractive. Would you like to go on a date?"
distant_hat 6y ago
I have turned a few friendzones into sexual relationships. You have to risk losing the friendship though, which if you have a ton of friends isn't that much of an issue.

tonystubblebine 6y ago

Great. I guarantee you are 100x closer to figuring out your love life than anyone here talking about wealth, looks or status. I don't want to be a love coach. But how are you with making an ask? Do you ever use clear language like, "Would you like to go on a date?" or if you're on a date, "Would you like to hold hands?" "Can I kiss you?" She's on a date for a reason too. And if the answer is no, then congratulations on sorting a person from the unknown bucket into the no-romantic-interest bucket. If they say no, accept the answer respectfully and move on.

dingaling 6y ago
> But how are you with making an ask? Sure, encourage him. But also coach him for the inevitable "I don't think of you like that" response. Extra points if she adds "you're too good a friend". Categorisation into the Friend Zone happens within minutes of first meeting. There's no way out of that box.
- tonystubblebine 6y ago
  A lot of people in this thread are talking about impossible standards of wealth and looks and being in the top 20% of men or higher. But not enough people are talking about this standard. Can you ask a woman out without making her feel scared? I think your fear often comes across as dangerous. So, ok, fine. Asking women out is scary. I was young, I remember that. But if you never ask anyone out what are you really complaining about. And if all you ever did was ask one person out, get rejected, and then you've been sulking about it every since, that's not any better. Hard is not the same thing as impossible. Hundreds of millions of men have figured this out.

shuntress 6y ago

>I just have no idea to turn that into sex. This seems indicative of the exact line of thinking the parent comment notes does not typically work. >"I'm laughing at her jokes because I hope that will make her sleep with me."

Debugreality 6y ago

Realise there is often a fine line between friends and friends with benefits. My advise would be let them know you find them attractive like offering compliments. Occasionally make a move to get closer, massage, touching etc. Spend time with them. It is likely they will be in the mood sooner or later and you will be the most convenient option. Basically let them know your interested and ask. If you don't ask you won't get anything. But keep it light and occasional. And remember people can change their mind - so its ok to ask more than once.

tonystubblebine 6y ago
Also consider communication tactics to let them know you find them attractive like vocalizing the words, "I find you attractive. Would you like to go on a date?"

distant_hat 6y ago

I have turned a few friendzones into sexual relationships. You have to risk losing the friendship though, which if you have a ton of friends isn't that much of an issue.