4 ms·
men are content to date down, women are not This misses a fundamental point that has been made clear since the advent of Tinder and the like. The terrible exp
by mellosouls 6y ago
men are content to date down, women are not
This misses a fundamental point that has been made clear since the advent of Tinder and the like.
The terrible experience and loneliness of men not in the top 20% on those apps is because the women on them are not content to date on their level, or even below several rungs above them. Let alone "date down". I've seen this happen with multiple friends of mine, decent (not nerds but not alpha) guys who have to swipe hundreds for a single match. It's absurd.
This is the great unsayable (in correct society) that has actually been said loudly for years in masculinist fora, most viciously and notoriously by the incels.
The adage is that in environments like dating apps, 80% of women go for 20% of men.
Exaggeration or no, there is real truth there that society needs to wake up to if it has any care at all for the mental and emotional health of men.
- toomuchtodo 6y agoSociety can't "wake up", this is what it wanted. Women being equal, but not interested in "lesser" partners, causes a natural imbalance. You can't "fix" the imbalance without removing free will from market participants.
- mellosouls 6y agoThe history of social constructs and law has been about constraining and enabling "market" participants. Free will doesn't come into it unless you live in an anarchy. Sometimes those social changes have good results, sometimes bad. Here there is a clear social ill that has been dismissed for years whenever it is raised in edge fora - perhaps with studies like this being publicised in respectable publications we will begin to look at what we can do to improve the lot of a significant marginalised group.
- newguy1234 6y agoI think the problem (from my experience as a 30 year old man) is that young men absolutely struggle to find women that are in their age range. Young women often go after older men, with established careers and incomes. If young women do date their age group then they go after men that have better looks, money, popularity and so on. So the end result is the vast majority of young men are completely dateless. I remember when I was a young man, I absolutely struggled to get a date even though I tried very hard. I was always rejected. Women didn't even want to talk to me! If I small chatted with them they would always find some reason to get out of the conversation. When I did actually manage to get a date it was because the woman specifically went after me. I had a small relationship with her but it mostly fizzled out over time. I spent most of my youth simply working and getting my degree. Now I am 30 years old, have a solid career and excellent financials. I have a spouse now and I don't bother with these young entitled women anymore. I think all men should do the same. Work hard, get a good career and then find a woman who is also financially successful.