4 ms·

Buy into a closed, preferential application platform in order to find a mate, or else restrict yourself to people who would spend time at a club? With a system

Buy into a closed, preferential application platform in order to find a mate, or else restrict yourself to people who would spend time at a club? With a system that restrictive and bar-lowering, it’s little wonder people aren’t having much luck.

monocasa 6y ago
Or a single's meetup, or the coffee shop, or running into someone at the same aisle of the bookstore, or smiling at someone at the park... The core here is that you don't mix sexual propositions and the (even potential future) power relationships inherent with work for pay.
- ironmagma 6y ago
  Sure, but we have always had those avenues, and the bookstore example is quite outdated as well. The fact remains that if you remove a significant portion of the places where couples used to meet (work), you will see less romance happening. So far we haven’t created any new revolutionary third place to go meet each other, so this will be unlikely to change without a reversal of the attitude, which I suspect we’ll see within 20 years when people realize it’s not working.
  - monocasa 6y ago
    Right, you had previous avenues, and you continue to as well. It's the contexts where someone could feel like their career success could be predicated on sexual capitulation that is increasingly off limits. Also, the bookstore analogy isn't that dated, gen z and millennials are bringing bookstores back. https://www.ingramcontent.com/blog/millennials-have-a-passion-for-brick-and-mortar-stores https://www.ingramcontent.com/blog/millennials-have-a-passio...
    - eloisius 6y ago
      The most interesting thread in this whole post is down here at the bottom discussing where and how you can avoid falling into that 1/3! The bookstore in particular might be fair game, not sure. However, I have heard from women that I am friends or acquainted with how annoying it is to be hit on while in public places. The sidewalk, public transit, in line at the grocery store, at the coffee shop, etc. I've heard all of those described as places where a woman is just trying to do her thing and doesn't go there to be accosted by romantic advances. I don't know if it's true across the board, or just applies to _some_ men, or what, but I know that I personally haven't never felt like I have the go-ahead to approach a woman at the park or something like that.
      - ironmagma 6y ago
        There’s never a time when it’s encouraged; that’s the whole game.
      - monocasa 6y ago
        You just have to open with something deeper than making it clear you want to be in her pants. At best that's boring from being tried by ten other guys that day. That's why the bookstore example is neat, it gives you an insight into what she cares about. Speaking in broad strokes, women (well, really people in general) want to be treated as individuals with unique, hopes, dreams, and intellectual frameworks.

monocasa 6y ago

Or a single's meetup, or the coffee shop, or running into someone at the same aisle of the bookstore, or smiling at someone at the park... The core here is that you don't mix sexual propositions and the (even potential future) power relationships inherent with work for pay.

ironmagma 6y ago
Sure, but we have always had those avenues, and the bookstore example is quite outdated as well. The fact remains that if you remove a significant portion of the places where couples used to meet (work), you will see less romance happening. So far we haven’t created any new revolutionary third place to go meet each other, so this will be unlikely to change without a reversal of the attitude, which I suspect we’ll see within 20 years when people realize it’s not working.
- monocasa 6y ago
  Right, you had previous avenues, and you continue to as well. It's the contexts where someone could feel like their career success could be predicated on sexual capitulation that is increasingly off limits. Also, the bookstore analogy isn't that dated, gen z and millennials are bringing bookstores back. https://www.ingramcontent.com/blog/millennials-have-a-passion-for-brick-and-mortar-stores https://www.ingramcontent.com/blog/millennials-have-a-passio...
  - eloisius 6y ago
    The most interesting thread in this whole post is down here at the bottom discussing where and how you can avoid falling into that 1/3! The bookstore in particular might be fair game, not sure. However, I have heard from women that I am friends or acquainted with how annoying it is to be hit on while in public places. The sidewalk, public transit, in line at the grocery store, at the coffee shop, etc. I've heard all of those described as places where a woman is just trying to do her thing and doesn't go there to be accosted by romantic advances. I don't know if it's true across the board, or just applies to _some_ men, or what, but I know that I personally haven't never felt like I have the go-ahead to approach a woman at the park or something like that.
    - ironmagma 6y ago
      There’s never a time when it’s encouraged; that’s the whole game.
    - monocasa 6y ago
      You just have to open with something deeper than making it clear you want to be in her pants. At best that's boring from being tried by ten other guys that day. That's why the bookstore example is neat, it gives you an insight into what she cares about. Speaking in broad strokes, women (well, really people in general) want to be treated as individuals with unique, hopes, dreams, and intellectual frameworks.