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I found it a little bit naive. His examples from hosting situations are very interesting, but I think the generalizations too vague to be useful and the applica

by gozzoo 6y ago

I found it a little bit naive. His examples from hosting situations are very interesting, but I think the generalizations too vague to be useful and the application of the discovered principles in business quite unrealistic.

fsloth 6y ago
"application of the discovered principles in business quite unrealistic." I'm not so sure. The main point of the book I think was that very few negotiations are rational. That's the key message. Then there are lots of anecdotes and self promotion which are not that helpfull. But the key message, I think, is solid. Most people go to a room expecting some sort of analytic hammering out between two equal parties, when in reality if the other party is prepared with some sort of influence tactic based script and the one is not, the one with the plan comes out winner, especially if the other party is not prepared. Just ask telemarketers. If one of the agent in a two party negotiation has a script and a strategy then if the other party does not, the one that has any kind of strategy and script is usually ahead. And another key point was - the winning script does need to be rational, it can target emotions and feelings as well. Again, telemarketers. "Do you want to buy our insurance? No? Wait, think about how terrible it would be if something bad like <insert insured event> would happen? Surely you would like to be prepared for such an eventuality" These are of course applicable only to adverserial negotiations, and not all negotiations need to be like that.
- dkersten 6y ago
  Yes, thats definitely a key point: people are not rational creatures, but emotional. The rest of the book is just about ways you can tap into or get around that. Another key point of the book is to let your counterpart talk as much as possible, while you listen. Really listen. Again, the techniques discussed are tools to help with that. Everything else is sbout calming the person down, making them feel understood and heard, and unearthing what it is they actually value.
dkersten 6y ago
I’ve found the techniques to work well, in my personal and business life. It also clearly worked for him and others, and the many stories and anecdotes show this, not just in histage negotiations, but in other aspects of life

by gozzoo 6y ago

fsloth 6y ago

"application of the discovered principles in business quite unrealistic." I'm not so sure. The main point of the book I think was that very few negotiations are rational. That's the key message. Then there are lots of anecdotes and self promotion which are not that helpfull. But the key message, I think, is solid. Most people go to a room expecting some sort of analytic hammering out between two equal parties, when in reality if the other party is prepared with some sort of influence tactic based script and the one is not, the one with the plan comes out winner, especially if the other party is not prepared. Just ask telemarketers. If one of the agent in a two party negotiation has a script and a strategy then if the other party does not, the one that has any kind of strategy and script is usually ahead. And another key point was - the winning script does need to be rational, it can target emotions and feelings as well. Again, telemarketers. "Do you want to buy our insurance? No? Wait, think about how terrible it would be if something bad like <insert insured event> would happen? Surely you would like to be prepared for such an eventuality" These are of course applicable only to adverserial negotiations, and not all negotiations need to be like that.

dkersten 6y ago
Yes, thats definitely a key point: people are not rational creatures, but emotional. The rest of the book is just about ways you can tap into or get around that. Another key point of the book is to let your counterpart talk as much as possible, while you listen. Really listen. Again, the techniques discussed are tools to help with that. Everything else is sbout calming the person down, making them feel understood and heard, and unearthing what it is they actually value.

dkersten 6y ago

I’ve found the techniques to work well, in my personal and business life. It also clearly worked for him and others, and the many stories and anecdotes show this, not just in histage negotiations, but in other aspects of life