4 ms·

That headline makes me laugh. "may" work? Obviously it works, that's why women have been playing that game since the dawn of civilization.

klyrs 6y ago
It works for men, too. The less you put yourself out there, the less rejection you'll experience. Consequentially, you'll have a higher self-perception which will translate to a higher external perception. When opportunity comes knocking, be cool, don't trip yourself up. Slowly spiraling towards a relationship delays gratification which can intensify satisfaction, and also provides an opportunity for sober reflection -- you can adequately respond to warning signs and pull away without drama. Also bears noting that the strategy "may" result in missed opportunities -- and that's the purpose of that word in the title.
chooseaname 6y ago
When a lady cardinal is being wooed by a couple of bright red guy cardinals and she eventually chooses one, we call that nature. When humans do this, we get our feathers ruffled. Strange.
- metalliqaz 6y ago
  What are you talking about? My feathers aren't ruffled. I consider them both nature. I think it says a lot about HN culture that the mere mention of 'women' makes people automatically assume I must be some kind of misogynistic basement-dweller. These days it's "the pickup game", before that it was "dating", before that it was "courting", and on and on back through the ages. Sure, men can play hard to get, but everyone knows that males tend to pursue females. It's not controversial. It's just the way we're wired, likely due to our biology and the consequences of reproduction for each sex.
- logicprog 6y ago
  Because humans have a choice in it. Women can choose not to do it, the female cardinal can't, it's just an indelible part of their mating ritual and instincts. Ought implies can - there's no reason to be angry at someone for something if they can't help it. In addition, female cardinals do that ritual because it's a way of filtering for mates without conscious/rational assessment and communication... something which human women are entirely capable of, so they don't need wacky evolutionary tricks to do it. But also, the GP doesn't seem to have his feathers ruffled anyway, so it looks like you're just searching for some offense here.
  - chooseaname 6y ago
    > Because humans have a choice in it. This is the assumption. (Most)Women nest when a child is on the way. That's an involuntary behavior. Why can't there be some involuntary behavior associated with choosing a mate? And I'm not searching for some offense. I keyed off the OP saying "Game", but I don't feel they particularly had their feathers ruffled.
    - logicprog 6y ago
      Right, there are indeed involuntary behaviors. But I think there are plenty of examples of women that choose not to play hard-to-get - if it was involuntary we would have no, or vanishingly few, examples. If "voluntary" means anything - and I'm not talking about free will vs determinism here - this is one of those behaviors that is indeed voluntary.

klyrs 6y ago

It works for men, too. The less you put yourself out there, the less rejection you'll experience. Consequentially, you'll have a higher self-perception which will translate to a higher external perception. When opportunity comes knocking, be cool, don't trip yourself up. Slowly spiraling towards a relationship delays gratification which can intensify satisfaction, and also provides an opportunity for sober reflection -- you can adequately respond to warning signs and pull away without drama. Also bears noting that the strategy "may" result in missed opportunities -- and that's the purpose of that word in the title.

chooseaname 6y ago

When a lady cardinal is being wooed by a couple of bright red guy cardinals and she eventually chooses one, we call that nature. When humans do this, we get our feathers ruffled. Strange.

metalliqaz 6y ago
What are you talking about? My feathers aren't ruffled. I consider them both nature. I think it says a lot about HN culture that the mere mention of 'women' makes people automatically assume I must be some kind of misogynistic basement-dweller. These days it's "the pickup game", before that it was "dating", before that it was "courting", and on and on back through the ages. Sure, men can play hard to get, but everyone knows that males tend to pursue females. It's not controversial. It's just the way we're wired, likely due to our biology and the consequences of reproduction for each sex.
logicprog 6y ago
Because humans have a choice in it. Women can choose not to do it, the female cardinal can't, it's just an indelible part of their mating ritual and instincts. Ought implies can - there's no reason to be angry at someone for something if they can't help it. In addition, female cardinals do that ritual because it's a way of filtering for mates without conscious/rational assessment and communication... something which human women are entirely capable of, so they don't need wacky evolutionary tricks to do it. But also, the GP doesn't seem to have his feathers ruffled anyway, so it looks like you're just searching for some offense here.
- chooseaname 6y ago
  > Because humans have a choice in it. This is the assumption. (Most)Women nest when a child is on the way. That's an involuntary behavior. Why can't there be some involuntary behavior associated with choosing a mate? And I'm not searching for some offense. I keyed off the OP saying "Game", but I don't feel they particularly had their feathers ruffled.
  - logicprog 6y ago
    Right, there are indeed involuntary behaviors. But I think there are plenty of examples of women that choose not to play hard-to-get - if it was involuntary we would have no, or vanishingly few, examples. If "voluntary" means anything - and I'm not talking about free will vs determinism here - this is one of those behaviors that is indeed voluntary.