I am 47, I started with basic a TI99 4/A, I loved computers but I stopped at school when I was 15. At 30 I went back to evening classes and in 10 years I finish

I am 47, I started with basic a TI99 4/A, I loved computers but I stopped at school when I was 15. At 30 I went back to evening classes and in 10 years I finished high-school and an IT degree while working full-time. I managed to get a job in Italy (I am Italian) but it was frustrating there that I emigrated to England. I have been hating my life and job since the superficiality and ignorance of people, all these horrible corporations using Java or .NET. On March I finished a contract and I cannot find another one, because of the changes in the IR35 law that the pathetic UK government made and the virus after. I was working only for the money, now everything is gone. I am 47, too coward to kill myself, too terrified to take more shit.