10 ms·
More or less for my entire life I've had the idea that my social needs were not on par with the rest of the people, and this quarantine seems to have proven jus
by ericol 6y ago
More or less for my entire life I've had the idea that my social needs were not on par with the rest of the people, and this quarantine seems to have proven just that.
Bear in mind I do enjoy social life; when I was living in Spain in my 30s (and single) I had a very active social life, and had a moderate (~30) amount of friends split in 2 groups with which I continuously interacted.
When I left Spain for my place of origin I had only a handful of friends, and then I moved to where I live now and have only one friend, whom I see sporadically.
Nowadays I mostly interact with my partner and daughter, and the people I work with (I've been working remotely for 13 years) and to be honest, I have no cravings for social life (Except that I miss going for a stroll every once in a while at nights).
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- tehlike 6y agoThat explains fair amount of us, I think. I'm on the same camp. It makes it a bit challenging as my wife is extremely social, so finding balance is a bit tough for both of us :)
- obiefernandez 6y agoI have the same issue. My wife is going absolutely stir-crazy and dreaming of all the adventures, while I'm absolutely happy to be productive at home with relatively few distractions.
- ericol 6y agoWell, my partner has the same issue. Even thought we are living in this city because it was the best for her career (She's a professional flamenco "bailaora" and where we lived before her career was dead in the water) she doesn't have a large amount of friends, but boy does she crave for going out. She is really having a bad time going through this, while I'm surfing the wave without issues.
- 1bc29b36f623ba8 6y agoSame here. The missus is almost crawling on the walls due to the lack of social contact, while I'm having the time of my life; the lack of social interactions gives me so much extra spare time.
- briefcomment 6y agoCan you really call living with your family isolation? There are people out there who live with no one, aren't near family, and can't see friends because of the lockdowns.
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- Trasmatta 6y agoYep, this me. I haven't been able to see friends or family since March 15th. So I haven't even touched another human in that long. It's been really bad for my mental health. I have a hard time empathising with people who say they've been super lonely but still live with family.
- wwweston 6y agoFeeling it too. Last few weeks I decided that I was going to negotiate some limited contact (occasional masked walks and hugs) with a few select people. This is arguably a little irresponsible of me; I have a housemate who is a social worker and not isolating, which makes me a potential link in a transmission chain. But on the other hand, we're spending nearly zero time together in shared spaces (we literally go weeks w/o seeing each other) and I'm very conscientious about what I touch and when in shared spaces. And delivery or random passers-by on walks are my only other form of exposure, so it seems like a managed risk if not absolutely minimized. I think some who live alone are going to find this kind of quaran-team approach important as we break past the first few miles of the marathon. The trick may be in really doing it thoughtfully in a planned-out conscientious manner rather than waiting until arriving at some breaking point and throwing caution to the wind.
- kaybe 6y agoI think it should be fine if you form a very small group and only ever meet these same people (optimally outside with a bit of distance of course). It shouldn't be that much different from people living in a medium-size household and much better for mental health.
- cortesoft 6y agoYes, this has certainly solidified my understanding of myself as an introvert... I am stuck home with my wife and two young kids, and I mostly want more alone time... I don't miss seeing other people.
- pgt 6y agoBeing around your partner and daughter is social.
- ericol 6y agoWell, yes. But it's not the same, and I'm in this boat as well: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23460927 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23460927
- daveFNbuck 6y agoThe article is about severe social isolation, meaning you don't interact with another person in any way. > the researchers had 40 socially-connected healthy human adults spend 10 hours (9am to 7pm) alone, with no social interaction and no other social stimulation (e.g., twitter, email, reading fiction). I'm not even sure what I could do during the day to avoid social interactions to this extent.
- taneq 6y agoI do wonder what the participants were allowed to do. It’s possible they just measured the effects of terminal boredom.
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- ericol 6y agoYes, I understand that. But also from the article: > Participants with higher levels of chronic loneliness at baseline reported less craving for social contact after 10 hours of isolation Based on what the article states I guess this is similar to people that react differently to fasting; those that are used to loneliness for whatever reason (In my particular case I understand it to be my "natural" state) are better prepared to go through this. I guess the idea was to be able to _really_ measure the effect of being alone in the least harmful way so they went all in (Not even allowing the participants to read) trying to make the time of the experiment as short as possible.
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- m463 6y agoSounds like a normal introvert. extroverts get recharged by being with more people. introverts get recharged by being with fewer people.
- ericol 6y agoRegarding that matter, I found this comment also in this thread interesting: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23462232 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23462232
- totetsu 6y agoI think social needs are not static, it depends on what you are become used to.
- pingyong 6y agoI've been almost completely alone for about 3 months now, at least physically. And honestly... I couldn't feel much happier in that regard. It's been great. Maybe I'm broken or something.
- NLMichel 6y agoNot broken just a different type of person. See this episode from Mythbusters about Cabin Fever: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2m7k1y https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2m7k1y You're more like Jamie.
- tripzilch 6y agoIf you live with a partner and a daughter, you're not socially isolated. I really get a strong feeling that a lot of people who do not live alone, have no idea what others who live alone actually went through (during lockdown / quarantine). It's hard to explain, it's like being lost at sea, maybe. My mind just started blanking all the time