7 ms·

Someday he will realize this situation was staged, but he will forever appreciate the sense of exploration and adventure that you instilled in him.

natmaka 6y ago
This sort of thing seems also useful to teach to the youngster, upon the time he understands/learns that he was tricked, that even folks may lie to him (deliberately or not). In a society truth is less important than relationships, communication, shared "knowledge" (myths). It may be one of the reason why the Santa Claus character (among other ones) stays "alive" in the culture.
- msie 6y ago
  :-/
  - ethbro 6y ago
    ^ When your 11 year old son finds "that website dad is always on" and this is the first comment thread he reads...
    - the-peter 6y ago
      This isn't the website dad is always on. Son will find that one when he hits puberty.
- rclayton 6y ago
  Did this happen to you?
  - natmaka 6y ago
    I think so (not sure about this). There is an hypothesis about the origin of the "hacker" state of mind (as a strong urge to understand how things work) stating that many of them think/thought that, as youngsters, they were lied to (cannot find the reference, though).
    - ethbro 6y ago
      Available informative resources played a huge part in mine. (One of the reasons I despair about the modern internet filling kids' time with cotton candy trivia) With a pathologist father, 3rd grade biology questions digressed into two hour linked list lectures on biochemistry. I distinctly remember the joy inspired by finding out about the-thing-behind-the-thing though!
- caro_douglos 6y ago
  I’ve been rewatching a lot of older movies lately given the Rona sitch...one of the scenes came to mind when reading your comment. You can’t fool me! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_Sy6oiJbEk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_Sy6oiJbEk Ps. Watching this scene feels like almost all the employee stock option situations I OH in the Bay Area. Thankfully Carta is there to show you how little you get as an employee if and only if you go public.
- jon_elbrook 6y ago
  >In a society truth is less important than relationships Then he should have create a relationship of honesty. it's good to know that somebody wont lie to you, even to make you happy.
  - chongli 6y ago
    It’s not lying, it’s called make believe [1]. Children play this way all the time. It’s a healthy part of development. Adults play along with Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and the tooth fairy. When kids get older and figure it out, they generally have fond memories of it. The only cases I’ve heard of where it was upsetting was when somebody else spoiled it for them, just like how people spoiled the end of the 6th Harry Potter book. Adults do it all the time as well, when we consume fiction. It feels good to escape our current reality and inhabit another, magical reality, if only for a while. It’s a healthy thing to do as long as it doesn’t lead to a breakdown in our relationships and other aspects of our lives. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Make_believe https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Make_believe
    - 08-15 6y ago
      "If the child believes that the make believe situation is reality, then he/she is misinterpreting the situation rather than pretending." Are you sure Wikipedia supports your assertion?
    - natmaka 6y ago
      Interesting and useful information, thank you! I'm really more and more convinced that each and every human group has such foundations ("myths"), and that the larger the group, the larger the distortion between the myth and reality.
      - lowdose 6y ago
        You have to read some of the work of Douglas Holt, cultural branding. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Douglas_Holt3/publication/297468415_Cultural_brand_strategy/links/57d4193208ae6399a3921fab/Cultural-brand-strategy.pdf https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Douglas_Holt3/publicati...
eitland 6y ago
When I was a kid we went hiking in the mountains with my dad and my uncle every fall catching small trouts (50-150g I guess) in the creeks using wooden poles and worms on hooks. I was a grown up before it dawned to me that if it wasn't for us they could have gone somewhere else and caught real fish. They never said anything but today I do the same: sometimes we go hiking on Sundays before or after church, "expeditions into the wilderness", tenting in the garden.
prepend 6y ago
That or he will feel tricked and betrayed and wonder what other things in his reality were crafted for him by his parents. I think it would be a really amazing experience, but I would be bummed out to find that my favorite childhood memory wasn’t real.
- michaelt 6y ago
  Man, you are going to be pissed when you hear about Santa Claus :D
- SeanDav 6y ago
  > "That or he will feel tricked and betrayed and wonder what other things in his reality were crafted for him by his parents." Don't agree at all. Do you feel betrayed that Santa is not real or there is no such thing as a tooth fairy?
  - shkkmo 6y ago
    I did when I caught my parents being the tooth fairy which I quickly extrapolated into realizing my parents were similarly lying about santa clause. I really don't understand the urge to lie to your children because your parents lied to you.
    - SeanDav 6y ago
      Parents "lie" to their kids about things like Santa because they remember the magical world that was created for them from their own childhoods, before the reality of a world with no Santa, murder, disease, death etc intruded on their reality. Which is better, telling your child: "yeah you will lose all your baby teeth and each one will hurt and bleed and make you look silly with big gaps in your mouth" or "oooh you lost a tooth, now let's put it under your pillow and the tooth fairy will exchange it for a little gift while you sleep"
      - shkkmo 6y ago
        I don't understand why you put "lie" in quotes. Even if you believe it is done for a good reason, it is most certainly lieing. You have a wide variety of choices as to what to tell your child that doesn't include lieing. You can celebrate the loss of a tooth as a positive step of growing up without telling a lie about a creepy fairy that sneeks into houses and collects teeth. Adults may rationalize to themselves that they lie to children to protect the children, but I think it is often more motivated by the adults' desire to avoid having an uncomfortable and difficult conversation.

natmaka 6y ago

This sort of thing seems also useful to teach to the youngster, upon the time he understands/learns that he was tricked, that even folks may lie to him (deliberately or not). In a society truth is less important than relationships, communication, shared "knowledge" (myths). It may be one of the reason why the Santa Claus character (among other ones) stays "alive" in the culture.

msie 6y ago
:-/
- ethbro 6y ago
  ^ When your 11 year old son finds "that website dad is always on" and this is the first comment thread he reads...
  - the-peter 6y ago
    This isn't the website dad is always on. Son will find that one when he hits puberty.
rclayton 6y ago
Did this happen to you?
- natmaka 6y ago
  I think so (not sure about this). There is an hypothesis about the origin of the "hacker" state of mind (as a strong urge to understand how things work) stating that many of them think/thought that, as youngsters, they were lied to (cannot find the reference, though).
  - ethbro 6y ago
    Available informative resources played a huge part in mine. (One of the reasons I despair about the modern internet filling kids' time with cotton candy trivia) With a pathologist father, 3rd grade biology questions digressed into two hour linked list lectures on biochemistry. I distinctly remember the joy inspired by finding out about the-thing-behind-the-thing though!
caro_douglos 6y ago
I’ve been rewatching a lot of older movies lately given the Rona sitch...one of the scenes came to mind when reading your comment. You can’t fool me! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_Sy6oiJbEk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_Sy6oiJbEk Ps. Watching this scene feels like almost all the employee stock option situations I OH in the Bay Area. Thankfully Carta is there to show you how little you get as an employee if and only if you go public.
jon_elbrook 6y ago
>In a society truth is less important than relationships Then he should have create a relationship of honesty. it's good to know that somebody wont lie to you, even to make you happy.
- chongli 6y ago
  It’s not lying, it’s called make believe [1]. Children play this way all the time. It’s a healthy part of development. Adults play along with Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and the tooth fairy. When kids get older and figure it out, they generally have fond memories of it. The only cases I’ve heard of where it was upsetting was when somebody else spoiled it for them, just like how people spoiled the end of the 6th Harry Potter book. Adults do it all the time as well, when we consume fiction. It feels good to escape our current reality and inhabit another, magical reality, if only for a while. It’s a healthy thing to do as long as it doesn’t lead to a breakdown in our relationships and other aspects of our lives. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Make_believe https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Make_believe
  - 08-15 6y ago
    "If the child believes that the make believe situation is reality, then he/she is misinterpreting the situation rather than pretending." Are you sure Wikipedia supports your assertion?
  - natmaka 6y ago
    Interesting and useful information, thank you! I'm really more and more convinced that each and every human group has such foundations ("myths"), and that the larger the group, the larger the distortion between the myth and reality.
    - lowdose 6y ago
      You have to read some of the work of Douglas Holt, cultural branding. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Douglas_Holt3/publication/297468415_Cultural_brand_strategy/links/57d4193208ae6399a3921fab/Cultural-brand-strategy.pdf https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Douglas_Holt3/publicati...

eitland 6y ago

When I was a kid we went hiking in the mountains with my dad and my uncle every fall catching small trouts (50-150g I guess) in the creeks using wooden poles and worms on hooks. I was a grown up before it dawned to me that if it wasn't for us they could have gone somewhere else and caught real fish. They never said anything but today I do the same: sometimes we go hiking on Sundays before or after church, "expeditions into the wilderness", tenting in the garden.

prepend 6y ago

That or he will feel tricked and betrayed and wonder what other things in his reality were crafted for him by his parents. I think it would be a really amazing experience, but I would be bummed out to find that my favorite childhood memory wasn’t real.

michaelt 6y ago
Man, you are going to be pissed when you hear about Santa Claus :D
SeanDav 6y ago
> "That or he will feel tricked and betrayed and wonder what other things in his reality were crafted for him by his parents." Don't agree at all. Do you feel betrayed that Santa is not real or there is no such thing as a tooth fairy?
- shkkmo 6y ago
  I did when I caught my parents being the tooth fairy which I quickly extrapolated into realizing my parents were similarly lying about santa clause. I really don't understand the urge to lie to your children because your parents lied to you.
  - SeanDav 6y ago
    Parents "lie" to their kids about things like Santa because they remember the magical world that was created for them from their own childhoods, before the reality of a world with no Santa, murder, disease, death etc intruded on their reality. Which is better, telling your child: "yeah you will lose all your baby teeth and each one will hurt and bleed and make you look silly with big gaps in your mouth" or "oooh you lost a tooth, now let's put it under your pillow and the tooth fairy will exchange it for a little gift while you sleep"
    - shkkmo 6y ago
      I don't understand why you put "lie" in quotes. Even if you believe it is done for a good reason, it is most certainly lieing. You have a wide variety of choices as to what to tell your child that doesn't include lieing. You can celebrate the loss of a tooth as a positive step of growing up without telling a lie about a creepy fairy that sneeks into houses and collects teeth. Adults may rationalize to themselves that they lie to children to protect the children, but I think it is often more motivated by the adults' desire to avoid having an uncomfortable and difficult conversation.