I have a lot of experience training people in interpersonal communication skills. I have come to the conclusion that good communication is based on a set of att

I have a lot of experience training people in interpersonal communication skills. I have come to the conclusion that good communication is based on a set of attitudes. You start by assuming that the other person is reasonably intelligent and well-motivated, and that they will see the point of what you are trying to say if you just explain it to them in a clear manner. But is it also possible that they have things on their own side that you need to hear and understand. And so on the basis of all that you come up with what you need to say, and also how to listen and ask questions. All the specific rules, like reflective listening and Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication, are just putting these attitudes into practice. However, it is also the case that sometimes the person on the other side is not well-motivated, either because they are a bad person or they are in a situation where in order to get along in life they have to screw you over. In that case clear direct communication can fail or even be dangerous. So you have to make a judgement as to whether or not it is smart to go ahead and be direct.