10 ms·
> Doc has a beard, and people are always asking him why he has a beard. Doc learned a long time ago that it makes people angry and suspicious if he tells the tr
by throwaway_jobs 6y ago
> Doc has a beard, and people are always asking him why he has a beard. Doc learned a long time ago that it makes people angry and suspicious if he tells the truth
I purposely have a big ole homeless looking beard specifically to keep people at arms length.
Ironically one time in a single weekend it backfired twice...on a Friday while doing planks/pushups on a yoga mat in a park I was attacked by someone yelling “get out of my country” because they thought I was a Muslim praying to Mecca. Then the very next day I went to fresh market and ordered bacon and baby back ribs from the butcher and was confronted in the store by a man who followed me into the parking lot to attack me for being a bad Jew and ordering bacon and ribs on the sabbath.
I’m neither Muslim nor Jewish, and even after learning this neither of my attackers were apologetic.
- dijit 6y agoUgly and Horrible. People will find any excuse to be cunts to each other and feel entitled to do so. Sometimes it feels like nobody is following the cardinal rule: be excellent to each other.
- 082349872349872 6y agoI've heard that Jedi is an official response in Oz, but is there anywhere one can claim "Bill & Ted-ism" as a religion?
- sneak 6y agoBeing excellent to others, in my book, means giving people the benefit of the doubt and not presuming that they will find any excuse to be entitled cunts to others. In my experience, most people are not like that. There are, of course, self-righteous jerks everywhere, but in every society I find them to be a small minority.
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- firethief 6y agoCould we maybe choose less sexist insults in the thread on acceptance?
- dijit 6y agoDon’t be a dick.
- c22 6y agoSure, but everybody has an asshole.
- dijit 6y agoCould we maybe choose less ableist insults in the thread on acceptance? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperforate_anus https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperforate_anus Notably; this kind of pedantry is problematic, nobody thinks of gender when genitalia is used as an insult. Obviously insults are designed to offend; but adding additional meaning and then attacking the faux meaning is not meaningful. This sort of behaviour fuels anti-liberal rhetoric; as it does nothing to prevent actual sexism it’s just people attacking a straw man at the expense of well meaning people who used some word of the month which has been deemed “troublesome”. If I had led with “dick” as the insult I’m fairly certain it wouldn’t have been called out in such a way. False arguments serve only to “beat” other people so you may feel superior for a moment, but they push others to conservatism for being attacked for innocuous commentary. This is a problem because the conservatives are very effectively using the snobbery of some on the “left” to win people over and putting back liberal causes by decades in some cases. Leading to things like Trump - and the senate being stacked with republicans. Let’s go after actual issues.
- Apocryphon 6y agoMaybe the poster is Australian.
- TulliusCicero 6y agoNot surprising: bigots who go out of their way to insult random strangers probably isn't a demographic well acquainted with introspection or humility.
- morganvachon 6y agoYou're not wrong, but I've had to force myself out of this kind of negative thinking and instead try to approach someone like that from a place of genuine compassion and honesty. I've been called a "dumbass liberal", "commie", "socialist" and other names at work because the majority of the employees are die-hard Trump fans and/or religious fundamentalists and I made the mistake of expressing compassion for the immigrants in cages when it was big in the news. I've found that explaining my point of view, that as one who follows the teachings of Christ (I'm not overly religious but it's a discipline of love towards all other people and I'm down with that, plus it keeps my religious family happy), I can't in good conscience find pleasure in the suffering of others, seemed to make some of them stop and think about their own prejudices and biases. I doubt I've actually won anyone over (I tend to just keep my mouth shut about current events these days), but I've definitely seen an improvement in how I'm treated since then. Hopefully expressing positive feelings instead of reacting to negativity with more negativity will continue to improve my relationships with coworkers.
- Bjartr 6y agoI'm fascinated how people don't seem to be receptive to your promotion of positivity (by how you've been downvoted) IMO, your outlook is exactly what we need more of in the world. In a related vein to you I don't get any satisfaction out of hating others. Especially knowing how easy it is for the human psyche to latch onto those behaviors (othering, outgroup, tribalism, etc.)
- morganvachon 6y ago> I'm fascinated how people don't seem to be receptive to your promotion of positivity (by how you've been downvoted) I think some of it is down to how as a species we are tribal by nature, and we have to work hard to get past that and start seeing one another as companions by default, rather than adversaries. There's a time and place for healthy competition and sportsmanship, but issues like politics, religion, and race should not be competitive at all (edit to say I get that politics is a competition/popularity contest, rather I mean that one should be able to support an ideal or a specific candidate without being seen as "the enemy").
- spiderjerusalem 6y agoIt's actually really cool in a weird way in that it's measurably consistent. I live somewhere in the west and have skin of the moderately darker variety and the amount of general street racism I face is directly correlated with the length of my beard.
- Luc 6y agoRoman emperor Domitian expelled the Stoic philosophers from Italy. Some of them just shaved their beards so they could pass as 'normal' and stay.
- mark_l_watson 6y agoAh, those trouble making Stoic Philosophers (I capitalize this because my wife and I are ardent followers - a sane and practical philosophy for a crazy world).
- sampleinajar 6y agoWell, actually, quite the trouble makers. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoic_Opposition https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoic_Opposition
- NikolaeVarius 6y agoIs it more stoic to keep the beard and leave, or shave the beard and stay.
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- mcv 6y agoWith access to shaving technology, a beard is something you can control. I don't think a beard is absolutely mandatory to be stoic, is it?
- optimuspaul 6y agodepends. is the beard or Italy the thing that makes you more happy.
- r_singh 6y agoHave experienced similar things as a Sikh all over the world when I still had an uncut beard. From not being allowed inside a club for wearing a turban to being hugged by someone for being allah’s son. Man, did being a Sikh teach me something about negative assumptions based on appearance. I remind myself that it is nothing but a survival instinct and even I was doing this in one way or another.
- moksly 6y agoI think it’s absolutely amazing how much we put into looks and first impressions. My story is the opposite of yours, being a fit white Scandinavian cisgendered male who looks the part of an IT/banking manager when I’m clean cut. The amount of privilege afforded to me based purely on my looks and what I’m wearing is just insane, and I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve often used it to my advantage. These days I look like a hippie, sporting a full corona beard, coloured or happy message t-shirts, stretchy jeans and sandals. And it’s a whole different story, people offer me no leeway. Ironically my career and I guess wealth/status has progressed exactly opposite to my looks. So people should really stop judging anyone at face value.
- cmehdy 6y agoEven then, it is quite likely that people offer you a ton of leeway still. It's only in comparison to your previous style that you see the reduction. A friend of mine is considered white in the country he was born in (Guyana) and black in the country he's in now (Canada), and despite being always extremely well groomed and styled, he still ends up being very very clearly followed by security whenever he goes shopping. In comparison I've been to those places while looking more than scruffy, not showered, etc.. and have received nods and smiles from the security in every one of those places. Sometimes it's even happening simultaneously: if we enter separately only one of us gets followed. And this is downtown Toronto, one of the supposedly most diverse cities on Earth.
- moksly 6y agoOh, you’re absolutely right about that. I probably wouldn’t be able to pull off my hippie look in my position if I wasn’t a Scandinavian man. People just don’t automatically attribute me with financial power anymore. On the flip-side, anything “being a dad” related is much better now that people assume I work less.
- myself248 6y agoSimilar here, I was rockin' a pretty serious beard while working for a company that maintained POS equipment in independent grocery stores. Many of our clients were smaller ethnic shops, mostly Arab of various derivations. There were a few where, the first time I walked in (moments after calling to say I'd arrived), the staff greeted me in a friendly "hello brother" sort of way, once in exactly those words. I didn't see any point in arguing, but when prayer time rolled around and I said I'd keep working, the shock was delicious. All good-natured, just unexpected all around. I had to ditch the beard recently to get a good seal with a respirator, but it'll be back someday.
- poulsbohemian 6y ago> greeted me in a friendly "hello brother" Wouldn’t it be amazing if we all greeted each other like this regardless of color, creed, nation, etc? I think I’ll just start doing this - “hello brother!” “Hello sister”
- optimuspaul 6y agoWord. I've been trying to do similar in my life and when I do make the effort to raise myself to the same level as those I am greeting the interaction is so much more fulfilling for us both.
- solotronics 6y agoI like using buddy or ma'am. Everyone can be my buddy until they do some action that proves otherwise.
- Taylor_OD 6y agoThis is my go to as well.
- williamdclt 6y agoNon native. Does ma'am have the same ring as "buddy"? It always sounded somehow deferential to me
- jotm 6y agoIt's ridiculous. Living in the UK I've had several people talk about Muslims and immigrants and how they change culture and take jobs... One even said "you're alright mate"... Are you serious? I don't understand how people can think this way. If I and other foreign coworkers were alright, why are others bad? Where are they? Terrible media and politicians with their own agendas pushing trash down people's eyes and ears, and they turn on some other group, it's fking sad.
- poulsbohemian 6y agoI’m sure some learned person here can give us the right nomenclature, but it’s the difference between “they” and aa single individual. It’s easy to be convinced that some group is the problem, it’s very different when you are confronted with a single individual and suddenly realize that groups are seldom as homogeneous as they appear.
- zulgan 6y agoDoes this happen in the east as well? I feel this is common in the west, because people externalize internal conflicts, and they have to project their "righteousness" and "judgement" to justify their existence, as there is nothing left in ourselves besides atoms.
- AtHeartEngineer 6y agoHell ya me too, I like to ride that line between looking tidy and insane
- m463 6y agoI would suspect it's location-based. In Oakland or San Francisco you wouldn't get a passing glance. Even if you upped your tattoo game.
- mc32 6y agoIt’s true. Occasionally I’ll dress like people from other parts of the country) think Texas, or what have you, or in Texas dress like a surfer). People look at you funny. People think all kinds of things. Like passive aggressive things: look you up and down, block your way, etc. on the positive side sometimes you get complements.
- scruple 6y agoI've not had the same or similar experiences, I am a pale ginger with a big ginger beard, but I have been treated like and told that I look like a homeless man by strangers, friends, and even family. I've had a (medium or large) beard since 2006, I shaved it completely off exactly once in all of that time, in 2008. It was short for my wedding but I brought the length right back. I like it, I hate that I used to make excuses for it. > I think it must be a lot easier to be a weird misfit now than it was in 1935. This is probably true in a general sense but people still suck as much in 2020 as they did in 1935, which is evidenced by current events and this very comment thread. The big difference being that there's so many more people today than there were then. Maybe that indicates that we've made some progress but I'm less hopeful.
- selimthegrim 6y agoOnly in NYC...