This is a late reply admittedly, but as a white guy (who has had conversations about this terminology) my rule of thumb is to defer to the people who are hurt/h

This is a late reply admittedly, but as a white guy (who has had conversations about this terminology) my rule of thumb is to defer to the people who are hurt/historically marginalized. It doesn't matter to me what the origins of these terms are. As the phrase goes, intent is not impact. Who am I to tell someone that they shouldn't feel a certain way? I totally used to be "that guy", but have since realized that it's not about what I think. I mean, really--if some "innocuous" (to me) word hurts someone, why wouldn't I just avoid saying it. It's literally the least I can do. Not saying it's going to fix systemic racism by itself but it seems pretty thoughtless to continue to use language that people have identified as (for lack of a better word) problematic.