Im 40 and still have this problem. I remember my father saying “look into my eyes”, doing it then my mind going immediately blank. Now I don’t care, I just look

Im 40 and still have this problem. I remember my father saying “look into my eyes”, doing it then my mind going immediately blank. Now I don’t care, I just look away when I need to. It’s a quirk that I don’t care how it’s interpreted. And I noticed that it matters where one looks away: up slightly to right for accessing some type of thoughts, down for a deeper thinking mode, etc. I’ve been pondering for a while whether Im on the spectrum or not. I have the empathy, too much of it. I don’t have the social scripts and always have to improvise and that is tiring after a while. I often wondered how come nobody told me what to do in certain situations and I wished i was educated by someone on this. But the truth is that this is simply picked up naturally and never taught. Yes, my father suspected I may be on the spectrum but back then a lot less was known.